When is a failing not a failing

I don’t think that I am alone in thinking how the year seems to be whizzing by, to think that we are nearly half way through the year seems almost impossible as my head feels like it’s somewhere in February! However, I do feel grateful that unlike my kids, I am not midway through my exams – but I can still remember the feeling of thinking they were ages away, only to then feel as though I blinked and they were upon me!?

I was chatting to a client the other day about exams and tests, and the conversation quickly turned to the subject of failure. It is one of those subjects that comes up a lot in my coaching conversations as it’s one of those things that I find hinders people a lot. At some time or another we have all experienced failure, and often we don’t want to do something because we fear it. However, rarely do we stop and wonder what it even is.??

Failure often feels to us like it is black or white, it’s a pass or it is a fail. I remember my first driving test – now that was definitely a fail! Sensing it was all going a bit wrong, my three point turn rapidly turned into seven, I just wanted to it to be over so mounted the kerb and then promptly stalled at some traffic lights causing the instructor to grab for the handbrake! In my mind I wanted to pass with flying colours and sadly the reality did not meet that at all, it was in my mind a clear fail – but what is??

Even at the time, I learnt so much during that test, I experienced so much. When I had my second test, I was a lot more confident, I was in control more, I had learnt from the mistakes I had made. In many ways, that ‘failure’ was a necessary part of my learning to drive.??

So often when we receive a result we judge it against what we imagine should happen, which is usually black and white – pass or fail. But what if the results are richer than that, what if the reality has a lot more to offer than our binary imaginings of pass or fail? One of the many things that I have learnt in my MSc is that a hypothesis is not a bench mark to provide a pass or fail, but rather an framework to explore an idea – you may or may not prove it, but whatever the result you will deepen your understanding of the theory – what if we approached life more like that? What we expect to happen is more of a hypothesis to explore rather than an expectation to judge against??

When I reflect on my life, so many of my ‘failings’ have in fact turned out to be some of my greatest learnings, they have been necessary steps that have enabled me to go on and do other, sometimes, better things. They have often provided me with learnings that I may not have predicted – or sometimes welcomed – but they have always been needed; sometimes, they may not have been obvious, but they have always been there.? Therefore the reality of how things turned out, rather than my imagined prediction of the future or hypothesis, have, in truth, been far from a ‘failing’ but a rich passing of life!

with love,

Andrea x

p.s if you would like to learn more about how understanding your state of mind can impact the success of your professional career or business, let’s have a chat. To find a time to suit you click here.

Andrea Morrison is a Transformational Coach, Tedx Speaker, Writer and Columnist for The Yorkshire Post. Find out more about her forthcoming events and programmes on her website:?www.andreamorrison.co.uk