When Expertise Isn't Enough, You Need This:

On Tuesday, I saw something I hadn’t seen in over 40 years—snow falling outside my window.? And not just a little snow, 10 inches of it, right here in New Orleans, in less than 12 hours. The local news is calling it the Blizzard on the Bayou, which, as someone who grew up in Ohio, really cracked me up.? I know what a blizzard looks like. I still remember scaring the crap out of my parents when I was in the 4th grade, and they closed school early for a real blizzard. I’m talking total whiteout—and not the Penn State football game kind—the I can't see three feet in front of my face kind.

I lived about 10 blocks from school, so I walked to school. And yes, it was uphill both ways, at least as far as my kids know. ?? But on this day, my best friend and I had to walk home via the backstreets so we could see where we were going because the wind was blowing straight down the main street (which we usually used to go to/from school), and where (unbeknownst to me) my very nervous mom was driving up and down repeatedly looking for me and getting more freaked out with each pass.

Ahhhhh, life before cell phones ??

But the "blizzard" also gave me the rare gift of time to think.?

While the city slowed to a crawl, I took a moment to catch up on my overflowing inbox, where I found an email from Brian Clark. In it, he posed the idea that The Messenger is the Message—that people rarely separate the content they consume from their perception of the person delivering it. The email pointed to a fascinating MIT study: when people were told a human expert created or edited the content, they rated it more favorably than if it was written solely by AI.? But here’s the twist—it wasn’t just the “human” part that mattered. It was the “expert” part.

The study participants didn’t need to know the person. They simply needed to believe the messenger had expertise. That title of “expert” created credibility. But that begs the question: Is expertise enough?? I don’t think it is.? I’ve been talking about this for years.

From a business development or sales point-of-view, there is a colassal difference between being seen as AN expert and being seen as THE expert. The former gets invited to the pitch, but the latter is handed the business—no pitch required.?

Why Expertise Isn't Enough

Publishing consistent, insightful content can put you on your audience’s radar as a Thought Leader or a Leading Expert, to use Brian’s nomenclature, and get you shortlisted as someone who knows their stuff. Psychologist Robert Zajonc proved this decades ago. He showed that people’s preferences for certain words, faces, or even symbols increased simply because they saw them repeatedly.

It’s called the Mere Exposure Effect, the bedrock theory underpinning modern-day advertising and content marketing as we know it. Basically, the more you see something, the more you like it.? But if you want to create a category of ONE, where you’re not just AN expert but THE expert, the person your audience insists on hiring—mere exposure won’t cut it. Becoming THE expert isn’t about how much content you produce or even how you create it (hello AI-assisted content creation).

Here’s why: Familiarity and credibility get your foot in the door. But if you want your audience to open that door and invite you in, you need to create a relationship between you and your audience. That relationship separates AN expert from THE expert—the person your audience trusts and actively prefers.? And if you’re wondering, “Okay, but how do I create that relationship?” the answer lies in a concept I’ve championed for over a decade: Propinquity.

The Power of Propinquity

Propinquity is the not-so-secret sauce that turns awareness into preference... strangers into friends... and friends into clients.

Propinquity is a fancy way of saying closeness. Physical proximity but also (and more importantly), psychological closeness that comes from repeated, meaningful interactions. It’s what separates you from the sea of experts vying for attention. Because, as I’ve noted, being seen isn’t enough. You need to be felt.

Propinquity forms when you show up in ways that feel personal and relational. It’s not about being everywhere; it’s about being in the right places—repeatedly, with intention. You need to move beyond content marketing to Propinquity Marketing.?

This isn’t just a feel-good idea; it’s backed by decades of research. My favorite and probably the most famous, The Westgate Housing Study at MIT, found that people who lived closer together—with more natural opportunities for repeated interactions, conversations, shared experiences, and those little moments where they truly connected—were far more likely to form friendships.?

Why??

Because those small, consistent interactions built trust.

Personality: The Missing Ingredient in Preferred Expertise

The same thing happens in Thought Leadership marketing. Expert content creates awareness and might get you on someone’s radar, but relatable expert content creates Propinquity, which grants you access to their circle of trust.

This is the most critical distinction marketers miss about building expertise: facts don’t build trust—stories do.

Specifically, your stories.

When people engage with your content, they’re not just looking for solutions to their problems. They’re looking for someone who gets them, someone they connect with. That connection often comes not from the brilliance of your expertise but from the details of your life—the personal stories, little quirks, and the life experiences where you gained your expertise.

Why does this matter?

Because sharing a piece of yourself creates psychological closeness. It’s one of the most powerful ways to foster Propinquity—the science that turns strangers into followers and ultimately into clients.

Content Marketing That Creates Closeness

Think about the difference between these two types of content:

Expertise-Only Content: You publish a LinkedIn post with three tips to solve a common client problem. It’s smart, insightful, and polished. It positions you as someone who knows their stuff, and it might get some likes or shares. That’s great for building awareness. And it’s exactly the kind of content AI is masterful at creating.

Story-Led Content: Now imagine the same post, but you start with a personal story. Maybe it’s about the first time you made this mistake, what it cost you, and the lesson you learned. Or you share a moment from your childhood or career related to the problem you’re solving. Suddenly, it’s not just information—it’s a window into who you are.?

That’s how you build trust, connection, and preference. And it’s precisely the kind of content AI SUCKS at producing.?

Here’s the thing: Expertise without personality creates distance. Your audience might admire you, but admiration doesn’t lead to trust. Personality closes the gap. It turns AN expert into THEIR expert.

WANT TO DIVE DEEPER?

Register to attend one of our LinkedIn Engagement Paradox briefings.

We analyzed over 6,500 LinkedIn posts from 173 Agency Owners to reverse engineer the recipe for Propinquity creating content.?

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Why Stories Work

When you share personal stories, you tap into a psychological phenomenon called Self-Disclosure Reciprocity.

It’s simple: if you’re vulnerable first, others feel more comfortable doing the same. They start to see you not just as a professional but as a person—someone they can relate to.

This is why content that includes your unique perspective, experiences, and even a few personal tidbits works so well. It humanizes you. And in a world where AI can crank out “expert content” in seconds, your humanity is your most significant competitive advantage.

The Kind of Content That Creates Propinquity

So, what kind of content marketing fosters Propinquity? It’s the kind that goes beyond sharing knowledge and leans into who you are:

• Tell Stories About Your Journey: Share the lessons you’ve learned from your successes and failures. Talk about how you became the expert you are today.
• Highlight Shared Experiences: Relate your content to moments your audience has likely experienced themselves—whether it’s their first time you blew the big pitch, a hard-won client win, or the struggle of balancing work and life.
• Show Your Personality: Be willing to show humor, empathy, or a piece of your real-world, non-business life. It’s these details that make you memorable and relatable.
• Be Vulnerable When It Matters: You don’t need to overshare, but acknowledging your missteps or uncertainties can make your audience feel closer to you.

This is the kind of content that makes people think; I like how they think. But more importantly, I like who they are.

From Awareness to Closeness

When you teach with personality and personal stories, you move beyond awareness. You’re not just another face on their feed or another expert in the crowd.

You’re someone they feel connected to—someone they trust and, more importantly, want to work with.

So ask yourself: Are you just showing people what you know or giving them a glimpse of who you are?

In the end, people don’t hire expertise; they hire the person behind it.

And the person who feels the most “like” them in terms of beliefs, ideologies, life history, or affiliations will always be the one they prefer.

And if you're looking for more good business development advice, why not go see?everything I've written on the subject.

Or if you're looking for a keynote, breakout, or workshop speaker... ?????? let's just say I know a guy ???https://bit.ly/BookTom