When Everything Stops

There are a few times in life that no matter what you have on your plate, everything must come to a stop. It’s an abrupt, jolting, whiplash-like experience where you surrender to things that are out of your control. For most of us, those instances are the death of a loved one and illness.

During those experiences when we’re forced to pump the breaks, we naturally reflect on how lucky we are. Taking life for granted is easy. And taking our health for granted is a natural runner-up. It’s often only in times of pain or loss that we count our blessings and acknowledge how much we have to be grateful for.

Last month, I had both of these experiences jolt my life. Out of nowhere, I had two rounds of serious allergic reactions to my eyes, lips, elbows, feet, forearms and armpits. Those inflammations were, sandwiched in between the death of my stepfather’s 25-year-old son. It was the ultimate screeching halt. Once my body had healed, my heart broke. Then once my heart started to feel intact, my body gave in again.

This all happened when I needed to deliver a 24-page report, finalize 2 proposals and launch a new phase of my business. And I just had to stop. Both my body and my heart needed it. In the moment, “stopping” was sleeping a few extra hours when I was on my steroids and not working on the weekend. Hopefully, that’s not what most people define as slowing down because it’s not, no matter which way you squint your eyes and tilt your head.

But I didn’t give myself nearly enough time to reflect on everything because I had to “get on with it”. I had to pull myself out of my funk and move forward. But, like most people, that doesn’t typically work out for the best.

When we mask our inner stories, we are living an external front to please others. The rules of society tell us it’s easier to show up, regardless of our personal circumstances, in the way others expect us to be.

While I didn’t ever sugar-coat my reality to my colleagues, clients or otherwise, I also didn’t take them up on their offers to push our work further out, reschedule meetings or help with daily needs. In my mind, I would be too far behind. However, I did make a firm decision that I needed to go away.

With my ever-caring husband’s reinforcement, I booked a 3-day getaway to a small studio loft on the water that was about an hour away from our home in the city. I’m writing this from a quaint little desk that is perfectly aligned with a window to the Chesapeake Bay.

This is my time to make the space for mind, body, and spirit that I didn’t allow myself when everything came to a stop. This is my planned stop — to reflect on the amazing people whom I love and fill my life with joy, the business I’ve built that creates meaningful connections for individuals and teams, and the body that I’m able to take care of and give it the rest and nurturing it needs to keep me going.

Some may think this is luxurious or even frivolous, but I assure you - this time is some of the most powerful and needed I’ve ever had.

The next time your world comes to a screeching halt, remember to make the space to reflect. For it’s only with pain that we experience the joy.

SV TIP: If you’re interested in finding a local spot to invest in your reflection process – check out our article on “ Where Baltimore leaders go to retreat”.