When is it enough?
Dr. Ida Balderrama-Trudell
Audacious Advocate, Chingona, Racial and Social Justice Practitioner, Lifelong Learner, Consultant, Lover of Nature
Trigger Warning......Post includes themes of death and suicide
Since leaving the University of Wisconsin-Madison a little over two years ago I have been publicly quiet about the state the higher education system in the United States finds itself in. Amongst trusted friends and colleagues I have debated passionately, cried, and hypothesized how it can be better. All the while, championing education and filled with a deep desire for things to get better, for everyone, students and staff. It was a difficult decision to leave a place, an institution of which I hold as my alma mater but I had to ask myself if I had any more to give at this moment. At the time, I continued on to receive a doctoral degree from another university system school (UW LAX), in student affairs administration and leadership no less. It was this process that finally pushed me to look elsewhere for my next journey in the arts doing DEIB work. I am forever grateful for the perspective and community they created for me.
I have known too many BIPOC women who carry the burdens of the oppressive and colonized systems that exist in higher education both in their work and in their bodies-this work is impacting our health, burnout is real and for some it is a silent killer. As I completed my dissertation, Testimonios of womxn of color in student affairs, I listened to the stories/testimonios of 10 BIPOC women across the country who worked in student affairs-this played out again and again-lack of support, lack of mentoring, lack of opportunities, etc. They offered solutions and dreams of what it can look like. I offered how the academy can change and work towards decolonization. Unfortunately, the experience of Dr. Claudine Gay is a familiar one. Her op-ed is spot on and it seems like she took herself out of the equation so she couldn't be used as a tool anymore, and I suspect, for her own health, as has happened to too many of us. The simple truth for me for all that is going on in our state, in our country and to Dr. Gay, is rooted in the tenets of something that lives in me from the Girl Scouts: Courage, Confidence, and Character.
The recent death by suicide of a dear colleague, Dr. Antoinette "Bonnie" Candia-Bailey on the heels of Dr. Gay's resignation, calls us to witness what is happening to women of color in the academy and in other fields where we are doing racial and social justice work. Dr. Candia-Bailey's dissertation, MY SISTER, MYSELF: SOCIOCULTURAL FACTORS THAT AFFECT THE ADVANCEMENT OF AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN INTO SENIOR-LEVEL ADMINISTRATIVE POSITIONS, also called into conversation experiences of Black women. Lincoln University has hired a law firm to look into personnel issues since her death.
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When will it be enough? When will non-BIPOC leaders step bravely into this space en masse? When will we ask the hard questions? Even in the face of scrutiny, fear, and threats; are leaders in this work asking how we are stepping into brave spaces and uncomfortable conversations? Are folx using their power and our privilege to be courageous? While these questions can be for everyone and should be for everyone, they are especially for my white colleagues in particular.
I know many who are doing exactly this, and others who should be or could be. I know how exhausting it truly is and how close so many are to tapping out and letting others take the lead. Women of color are my heroes-we've never had a choice. We have to be courageous, we have to have confidence, we have to show character. But at what cost? When is it enough to make real change?
Though I am not in the academy anymore, my heart is never far away. It is my dream to create a place and community for BIPOC women in the academy to retreat to, to refresh, to be filled with joy, heal in nature, and connect with other BIPOC women. I believe in the power of change, but in this time, and in this place, it will take Courage, Confidence, and Character to shift where we are. Sending my love to all my DEI warriors-it is a scary time. Take care of you. ?~ Doctora Ida B Tru
Director, Diversity Research Network at Michigan State University, Office for institutional Diversity and Inclusion
1 年You did it! Go Ida!
Scientist II
1 年First, Ida, congratulations on your doctorate! I know how crazy challenging it must have been to combine work and the outstanding scholarship that you do. Second, thank you for this post and for continuing to hold white people in higher ed (and other spaces) accountable for the harm that continues to happen to BIPOC students, faculty and staff. Always. And perhaps especially in these times of retrenchment and ongoing attacks of anything that promotes or encourages equity. Perhaps this has always been so, but the brazenness of the racism and reassertion of white supremacy feels newly "permissible". I appreciate you, Ida! Our experiences have been different, and yet I feel a kinship and have always felt seen by you. Congratulations again and please keep up your good work, while remembering to rest and care for yourself.
Executive Director, Natural Circles of Support, Inc.
1 年Would love to talk sometime, Ida. A part of decolonization, I think, is to reject medieval, colonial institutions (the academy and related spaces) and create spaces and ways of living and action in which we have a greater degree of sovereignty and independence. Non-participation is always a power we have. Creation of our own ways is also our power. We sink way too much energy into institutions constructed to siphon off the brilliance of BIPOC and other marginalized peoples for its own purposes. In my experience, transformational change is largely an illusion in these spaces. We have power in choosing not to participate and in the choice to use our creative intelligence and gifts to find other ways forward--beyond the limited imagination of the academy. So much of the academy is hollow and empty, at best, and marginally relevant to the deep, transformational (revolutionary?) change we so desperately need.