When the Enemy Attacks in Parenting and With Family

When the Enemy Attacks in Parenting and with Family

Isn’t it incredible how the enemy can use people to sabotage what your calling and purpose is? What you know God has called you do?

I have seen it many times myself and in fact dealing with it today. Luckily my focus and study does make me aware of what is happening but that doesn’t make it any easier. When the enemy manifests through people we love it can be hard to stand against it or not be wiped out from the emotional fight.

I experience that this morning at 6:47AM already fighting within myself to crawl back into bed from the stress of parenting today. YES. I said it. It is like the elephant in the room for many of us. PARENTING and the STRUGGLE. 

I don’t know why we don’t talk about it much or we feel uncomfortable sharing what goes on behind closed doors at times. Perhaps it is shame or a combination of thoughts:

“No matter how hard I try it doesn’t just doesn’t seem to work.”

“I just don’t know what to do”

“I don’t know how to get through”

“I wonder if I am a terrible parent”

“ Why am I a failure at parenting?”

“I have tried everything. I just don’t know what to do anymore”

This is why I write and speak. God continues to give me the courage to speak what we all might be hiding or afraid to admit/address. In is in this ministry that so many parents have privately reached out to me about how depleted and heart-broken their children have made them feel.

And the enemy attacks seems to hit when we have created momentum in our walk with Christ, our motivation to move forward has been made, or when we have just healed back from the last situation. I share this to HELP others who may go through these moments.

Last night I was at the Code Orange Revival with Elevation Church listening to Christine Craine. She shared so much about how we must commit to the moment we are in as we can’t change yesterday, and when we say tomorrow we are putting off what we can do today that can create change in our lives. It was so inspiring and it lit me on fire for the week ahead.

That is when the enemy attacked and THROUGH a person. So many times the enemy doesn’t use a little situation because he knows that we stand strong in our faith to make it through them. Oh no, that would be too easy. Hit hits way below the belt in where it is going to hurt you the most: Through those you love and want the best for.

What can we do when the turmoil in such a sacred place of our home happens and with conflict between family members? Here are some things that I am doing in this moment to set my actions and mindset.

1. Realize that it is not the person but the enemy working THROUGH the person that is attacking you. It can be hard when the person is looking at you right in the eye saying hurtful things or sending a text that takes the energy out of you.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. – Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)

2. Focus on the big picture of your life; the outcome you truly desire for yourself and your family. The mission and clarity of that view can help you sustain through the most difficult times. For example, you can’t allow your child to try and separate the closeness between you and your spouse. In times of challenge the core of the family is important and that is the leadership in the household in working as a team. This applies regardless if you are married, divorced or separated.

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” -Colossians 3:2 (ESV)           

“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” -Proverbs 4:25 (ESV)

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” - Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

3. Focus on the zoomed in view of the NOW. I have taught Dale Carnegie Masterminds and Book studies and one of the things I learned from his book, “How to stop worrying and start living” was to focus on ‘day tight compartments’ to stop the massive overwhelm that may be hitting us. He taught me in this book to ask myself questions, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” “If that did happen, what would that result in; how would you handle it?” He brought awareness that 98% of the time the things we worry about never come to pass. However, by addressing the situation in the thinking process we can face it more calmly to help us gain our footing.

“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”

 - Matthew 6:27 (ESV)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

4. Keep yourself strong in the core of your spirit. For me it is going to my special sitting area. I light candles in the morning and I pray. I pray with extreme focus for blessing the person and asking God for insight/direction to handle the situation. I read my bible, I journal and I listen to music that I know will help my spirit. I replenish myself so that I can gain awareness of the situation. I realize that no matter how hard I try I can’t control the other person’s emotions, their actions or their words. The only thing I can control is mine and walking in the knowing that if I give it to God he will pull me through.

“I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands.” -Psalm 143:5 (ESV)

 “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” - Joshua 1:8 (ESV)    

“Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day.” Psalm 119:97 (ESV)

“Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?” - 1 Corinthians 3:16 (ESV)

5. Take action to move forward instead of digressing backward. When we have struggles with our child, especially a teen and young adult it can affect you to the point where you want to crawl back in bed or just hide from it all. But when you do that, the enemy wins. The enemy has taken you off your purpose and the actions that were meant to be taken to create wonderful things in your life.

You can’t let the enemy win! Stand in the truth in knowing God has your back. The more you focus on his words in the bible to stand on and you practice these elements it will help. I am not saying that all the pain will immediately dissipate. What I can say with clarity is this: what we focus on we get more of it.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” Psalm 32:8 (ESV)   

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

6. Practice mindfulness of where your focus goes as that will expand much more than you realize. Words have power so create mindfulness in the middle of the parenting conflict (or even in a spouse conflict, etc.) that words can’t be taken back once they are released. The enemy wants to respond in the attack by fighting back with hurtful actions and words. He knows that will cause multiple injuries within you; causing guilt, shame, and like you are failing.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”

 - Philippians 4:8

?Tricia Andreassen

Evangelist, Best Selling Author

Teacher-Singer-Writer-Artist

Helping those who want and need spiritual healing and a new chapter for their life.

Inquire today for Tricia to speak for your group by email, [email protected]

www.TriciaAndreassen.com