When In Doubt

5 actions to help you deepen your self-trust

I remember a time when I needed to make an important decision. I was so paralyzed by the fear and dread of choosing wrong that I held off making any decision at all. I wasn’t just afraid of making the decision, but not knowing if I was prepared to handle the outcome of my decision filled me with anxiety. I had become adverse to risk in many areas of my life.

As I sat with my indecision, I wondered, “When did this happen?” I’ve been a change catalyst for most of my life. With more than a dozen address changes connected to career advancement in just under two decades, I was used to change. I took risks, especially in business and my career. I knew what needed to be done and how to get things done. So I was baffled. When did doubt creep in?

I wish I could tell you that it was a moment of doubt that was easily erased with a single decision. It wasn’t. I had climbed the success ladder multiple times and found myself sitting in the rooms that I had only dreamt about. I was making a great living, providing for my family and finally getting back on track after a season of challenge.?

I kept wondering “Why now? Why me?”

That moment of doubt was sparked because there was something I had not realized about my purpose.

The challenges before me were fundamental. I was facing a deep question about the life that I wanted. You know the story. This is the moment when your inner dialogue gets louder and louder. “Am I really happy?” “Is this all?” Even the familiar gentle tug of the subconscious reminding you that you may have forgotten something became impossible to ignore.?

“Am I forgetting something?”

So many high achieving women find themselves doubting when they are on the precipice of their next. There is a story we authored long ago that says, “when I reach X, I will finally be… “Happy. Satisfied. Fulfilled. Insert whichever adjective that provides your personal description of success. That story is challenged when we arrive at those destinations, but know that there is still a feeling within that is calling us to more. Perhaps in a different chapter of life, it may have been exhilarating, but at mid to late career, so much of who we have identified ourselves as is connected to our journey. It’s hard to imagine that achieving what we have could be met with doubt.

That is exactly where I found myself a few years ago. That moment of doubt was sparked because there was something I had not realized about my purpose. More specifically, I questioned everything I thought I knew. Intuition, knowing, perception and a host of other names are used to define our internal compass or what I like to talk about as our truth. At the center of who you are and why you exist there is truth. It is your core and it helps to guide you through life. Of course you always have a choice of whether to lean into your internal guidance or not, but it’s a lot like traveling to a foreign land without a map. Why would you want to take the journey without direction?

Most would respond that they don’t want to take the journey without the map, however we skip regular calibration without internal gps. Our truth is a precious gift that helps us to deeply see ourselves beyond how we are showing up in the world at any given moment. It is the place that helps us release doubt and encourages us to see ourselves beyond the current moment.

In my personal journey, the risk aversion I experienced was as a result of listening less to my intuitiveness. The less I listened to my truth, the more I found myself seeking counsel from others and looking at the path of others as if it were my own road. I often forgot that my path was foraged just for me and that the choices I had the opportunity to make were leading me to the life I really, really wanted.

So how did I do it?

There were a lot of practices and support that helped me navigate this part of my journey. I did not realize how difficult it had become for me to be truly vulnerable about not knowing what brought me joy or how to respond to the feeling of being called towards more. I found that the same deep transparency that made me a trusted and respected leader was much more difficult to display when it was focused on the uncertainty of my future. I also knew that there was work to do around my self-worth. The team that God led me to changed everything for me. My therapist, coach, mentor and tribes helped me see myself in ways I didn’t know I needed. The right support is everything.

In this episode of “The Making Of An Entrepreneur” docuseries, I share a portion of a client’s story that many people can identify with. Knowing what to do as doubt crept in was very important for her as she worked to lean into her truth. Our work together helped her hear and trust her voice leading her to a huge breakthrough resulting in two vibrant businesses!

Here are a couple of tips I can offer for the moments when you are feeling even the slightest bit disconnected from your truth. I encourage you to share your feelings with your tribe and create space to have the conversation about how you are really doing. There were so many moments that I allowed myself to be seen by others and their response was, “Me too!” My vulnerability created a path to give and receive support.

5 Actions to Help You Address Self-Doubt

Honor Your Own Voice

Make it a point to give significantly more credence to your own voice (and the voice of your higher power/ the divine). How do you respond to the things that come to you? Are you dismissive or judgmental? Do you treat your thoughts and voice the way you would a child or your best friend?

Action: Start with the thought “What I know and say has immense value. I want to explore what I believe and know.”

Manage The Voices

We consume a lot of content and that means voices. We don’t know how much of what we hear is true and it is difficult to filter out what is really necessary and important. When you are strengthening the connection to your truth, you need less noise around you, especially the ideas and thoughts of others. Be decisive about what and who you engage with. That means choosing to hear perspectives that broaden your frame of reference, create possibilities and encouragement to create your own path.

Action: Plan more quiet time for yourself. Intentionally choose to engage with those who are positive and openly respect your right to choose what is best for you. Consider creating some device free time each day to help you manage what you are consuming from others

Redefine Your Reality

You have to know what you really want in order to have it. Focused quiet time gives you space to envision what is possible for you. How do you see yourself today? Does the vision you are holding of yourself reflect someone who is connected to their truth and trusts their intuition? What assumptions are you making about trusting your truth? What is possible for you if you release doubt and choose to trust yourself?

Action: Create a clear picture of who you are and what you want. Envision yourself as deeply connected and trusting of your gifts. Be open and honest about what you need to release to live life connected to your gifts.

Avengers Assemble

The Avengers scene when everyone comes together is so iconic. Imagine your life when you pull all of the right superheroes together. Who is in your superhero tribe? These are the people who are equipped to help you navigate the battle of self doubt. Your tribe should represent what is needed for you based on where you are. I recommend an advisor or coach, therapist, trusted peer or leader and a mentor or close friend to start. These should be people who show up for you without judgment and who will hold you accountable. These are voices that come to reflect back to you what you say more than what they think you should choose.

Action: Identify your superhero tribe.

Mindful Practices

One of the ways to strengthen your connection to your truth is to ground yourself in it. Journaling allows you to see repetitive patterns and thoughts in black and white. Journals are breakthroughs waiting to be experienced. Daily journaling can be a game changer when you want to deepen your connection to your truth. Meditation is another incredible tool to help you gain clarity and strengthen your trust in yourself. Prayer is also incredibly powerful. It helps you deepen the connection to your higher power which you were created to reflect. Prayer helps you get clear about what really matters and can create lasting transformation.

Other examples of mindfulness include: Yoga, visualization, and breathwork to name a few.

Action: Choose practices that help you shift to what you need most. For example, if you are struggling with clarity, meditation and prayer are great places to start. If discipline and perspective are areas of challenge, journaling may be the best place to begin. In addition to the practices noted here, breathwork is a powerful tool for managing stress which is typically high in times of self doubt.

If you’d like to try a Bodyscan meditation, here is one that I created for my community, The Healing Crusade.

When in doubt, reconnect to your truth. Your answers are always within you and you do know. I also want to let you in on another secret that I share with my favorite clients– You really can’t get it wrong. You get to choose to know that your decision to release doubt is the right choice for the moment. When and if you need to change direction again, you get to make a new choice! Give yourself the gifts of grace and freedom.

Ready to explore reconnecting to your truth with the support of a coach? Check out Anika’s Sole to Crown-Crown 2 Soul Intuitive Guidance session. Learn more about Anika and book a discovery call here. Subscribe to the Anika Apple Podcast on YouTube for Divine Guidance, Leadership, Healing and more.