When did we make being busy a virtue?

Being busy is not a virtue.

I feel like I have already had so many "busy" experiences in my short career. Starting a company and working 16 hour days. Being in a client facing position and constantly having clients to serve at all hours of the day. I feel like I have had my "busy" days for sure.

However, as I network, chat with coworkers or bosses, I seem to find myself recoil a bit when people brag about being busy. These people are so busy in fact that they have somehow elevated being busy to---a virtue? When did being busy become a virtue? In my opinion, it's not.

Most professionals need balance in their life. Balance is the key to sustainable happiness and growth. Most of the time when I find that I am unhappy in my life, I find that it is because I have lost that required balance that makes me happy. There are times and seasons for one part or segment of your life to demand more time, however, your life should not be about being on the struggle-bus day in and day out.

Which busy are you? The good one or the bad one?

I hear a lot of people tell me about how busy they are. But to me, being busy is a neutral. I ask myself "Is this the good busy or the bad one?" If you are unclear of which type of busy you are, I will tell you how you can tell.

If you respond that you are busy and then go on to describe how your life sucks, you're missing out on important events, etc. then you're the bad busy. I have also found that these people need your constant insincere reinforcement to help them justify their busy actions. These people want you to look at their situation and be like "Yeah, but you're busy doing so much stuff." Thus, giving the perpetrator continued justification and social reinforcement to keep on truckin'.

The difference between the two types of busy is that the "bad busy" leaves us unbalanced and flustered. The "good busy" elevates, inspires and celebrates us and our work.

Often times when I meet new friends or acquaintances who are married I ask them what virtues they loved most about their spouse when they first met. These responses vary widely: funny, nice, charming, easy to talk to, down to earth, smart.

I have yet to hear someone respond that, "I fell in love with my spouse because they were busy."

Just a heads up that not everyone is impressed with how busy you are. I didn't fall in love with you because you were busy.