When did I grow up?
Ah ! it feels like yesterday but it's not. You know, it's pretty hard to determine when I lost my childish innocence and grew up completely as a new being. As far as my memory goes which isn't goes too far but I remember my head is tied within white-colored four walls and my heart is filled with million stars. When I first learned how to cry, I feel very safe and light. Back then we used to share what we love and became happy in front of strangers. I guess when I was two and a half years old, I got something quite heavy on my shoulders which I have to carry at first and then stored into the little walls of my small mind. I have to make sure both of them must be balanced at the end, so I don't have to create some hollow space in my heart and lost some precious tears. I saw some people on my period are happy and good at balancing weights, I wasn't sure how they do until my weights got heavier and my shoulders got wider. Just in no time, every fun activity gets cut off, and balancing becomes harder. Some older ones keep telling us that one day all these weights getting lighter and lighter and one day it feels like nothing at all but they forget to tell us that our minds getting crowded. Time speeding fast here, I lost most of my weight but find out a new weight of paper which is more important than us and that makes people go crazy doing stuff. Back then I thought that when you are younger in your house, you have a lot of time, experience and advantages but I forget a very important thing, it does not apply to everyone. I am the only son in my family and also have older sisters, my parents keep telling me I have to take care of them no matter how older I get. I laughed very hard at myself if someone is not able to gain some weight how is he able to help those who already gaining some weight? With time, that paper keep decreasing values and increasing mind storage, then I reached some place where they show a new kind of paper which is small in shape but values very high but it takes an enormous amount of mind storage. After four years of struggle and balancing everything, I got that paper but it never feels like valuable until I find a paper which is smaller but takes most of the mind storage, my parents keep telling me that if I want the world to remember me then I have to have lots of these papers. Then, suddenly a meteor crashes into our world and forces us to stay in our small home where I learn no matter how hard I try to chase these papers and enhance my storage, I can't balance them. Then and then the biggest part of the brain is captured, and I forget to check my heart. I got nothing left in my heart but most of my mind was captured by some papers and some people. Balance is just a myth and my calculation is all wrong, " life isn't about the balance between mind and paper, it's all about mind and hollowness of the heart". As time moves, the weight gets heavier and only changes its place from shoulder to mind. Left me with a hollow heart and makes me keep asking, When did I grow up ?