When conversation flows like treacle
Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

When conversation flows like treacle

In the school classroom we were discouraged from speaking unless spoken to. The teacher held the floor. We understood that it was their show so we agreed not to interrupt (much).

In the training room things are fundamentally the same, although most enlightened trainers will encourage interactive discussion at regular intervals. On the whole, the room reverts to ‘classroom’ mode and we allow the trainer their space and time. We are, we reason, there to learn and not just to chat. It is not difficult, however, once free-flowing discussion is signalled, for that to happen. We swap views, stories or thoughts much as we would in any open situation or meeting.

Once we all get online, on to Zoom for example, things get stickier. Much stickier.

Think for a moment about how real-world meetings happen. People arrive at subtly different times, take their seat at a table perhaps and briefly chat to each other – saying hello to those they know or introducing themselves to those they don’t. It might not be more than a phrase – ‘Hi, I’m Colin’ – but it affects an introduction. We’ve probably shaken hands and certainly held eye contact. We get a feeling (which may well need revision) about who we are sitting next to, for example. We are aware, subconsciously anyway, of some physical attributes of our fellow attendees, the room, the day, the sense of welcome and a dozen other signals that allow us to feel connected to that moment.

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On Zoom you fire up the app and all at once there you all are, a sea of faces including your own (though by now you know you have the option to turn that view off). For the most part we play it safe and don’t announce our arrival. We leave our mic safely on mute. We might wave but it isn’t to anyone in particular. Already we can feel distanced.

The host will almost certainly try to get people talking, at least to introduce themselves, but necessarily it can only be brief and patently some people find that difficult to do cold.

And straight away we can see, and indeed hear, the problem. The meeting is being conducted with conversations in serial format, one after another, rather than parallel. There are no ‘neighbours’ so it’s not clear who to introduce yourself to. Making a general introductory speech out of turn looks and sounds brash, so we fall in line and await our turn.

This very action sets the tone and the standard for the meeting. We feel as if we’re there only to offer our contribution if and when it is requested. Otherwise, we are, by and large, spectators.

There are, of course, ways to overcome some of the serial v parallel conversation challenges online - ice-breakers will help, breakout rooms encourage more free-flowing discussion, holding a virtual hand up can be quickly spotted and intervention encouraged - so it’s up to us as hosts to plan for this. As participants we should be willing and ready to respond.

Let’s hear you. Let’s talk.

-oOo-

Additional Photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash

Linda Eziquiel??RandDTax

R&D Tax Credit Specialist @ RandDTax | Helping UK businesses claim R&D incentives

2 年

We've still got so much to learn and understand about the online dynamic, but I'm sure there is also a generational thing going on. We like what we're used to and older people are very used to face to face. This is not necessarily the same for newer kids on the block.

Andy Milward, MSc, MBA, MSc, PhD, CPsychol, AFBPsS

Two related areas: (1) plan and manage Strategic Change for global organisations, (2) help execs survive termination, find themselves, guide them through job search, develop their careers

2 年

Super piece Colin and it brings up several social psychological issues that are very important. Firstly, how can we tell how effective virtual meetings are? Are they less effective because the intimacy is removed? Same applies to online training scenarios. I'm in a joint venture start-up in online education. During the exploratory phase, we found that in some instances online education is more effective than conventional edu. There are question marks about the reliability of psychometric/psychometric instruments completed online. These areas are being researched but there isn't that much information available. Finally, there is the area of Proxemics - the study of personal space. This is the study of how the spacial separation of people affects our interactions, among other things. You allude to this. Is interpersonal communication and formation of relationships compromised if people are not physically present with others. Can I build a trust relationship with someone if I can't shake their hand, observe how they orient to me via body language, and how does our inability to see, hear, smell, feel a common physical context affect our interaction. I think this is all very relevant to how mistakes occur in orgs!!

Usually 'the devil takes the hindmost!'

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Steven Eckett

Partner and Head of Employment at Summit Law LLP

2 年

I prefer face to face meetings and feel better connected with people than on Zoom or Teams. As a Lawyer some of my hearings have been by CVP video platform and I have to say that I think that my clients are seriously disadvantaged. This is especially so where they are unfamiliar with court and tribunal processes in person let alone on a screen. Body language and context from witnesses giving evidence is also more difficult to suss than in person. The benefits of online meetings though is the convenience without having to travel and the ability to connect with those based overseas. I do think that they need more planning and structure than in person meetings where I tend to feel more at ease.

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