When Comparison Goes Wrong
Quintrel Lenore, MA, SHRM-CP, Clifton Strength Coach
professional dreamer HELPING PEOPLE & BUSINESSES HELP OTHER PEOPLE
I was recently watching a video on Youtube from a gentlemen by the name of none other than “The Wall Street Trapper.” For those of you that are unfamiliar with hip hop colloquialisms, a “Trapper” is someone who sells drugs.?Now, a trapper isn’t just your casual part-time small money drug dealer.?No no my friend, A trapper is someone who has developed and refined their skill set in economics, business development, sales, creative advertisement and so many other intangibles your everyday Fortune 500 CEO would need to make stakeholders happy.?Yes, a trapper makes their stakeholders happy.?Wall Street Trapper grew up in one of the most notorious projects in New Orleans trapping and eventually found himself in jail for an extended stay.?During his time in prison he networked with one particular gentlemen who opened his eyes to the world of investment and trading (which is where his baptism to Wall Street began).?Long story short, The Wall Street Trapper eventually gave up his life of drug dealing to becoming a very successful investor, educator, and entrepreneur in our current day. ?
At the heart of the video that I was watching Wall Street Trapper was motivating his listeners to think about the difference between generational wealth vs being rich. He talked about the importance of group economics and sacrificing short term pleasures to collectively reap long term financial and generational benefits.?He talked about wealthy families such as the Rockefellers and Ford as examples of the power of what families can do to build generational wealth vs individuals focused on singular efforts to become rich.?However, the topic that resonated with me the most (which has been a recent repeat theme) is the impact that social media has in our lives.?More specifically, when we compare our lives to other peoples lives on social media.
I recently read the book Quitter by Jon Acuff, which as a side note, you will be hearing me reference a lot in the next couple weeks because of the impact that his book has recently had on my life.?Mr. Acuff writes this, “Measuring your dream against someone else’s is toxic but the idea of measuring progress is important.?Without a way to measure what you’re doing, you’ll never really know how much your dream has grown as a result of all your hustle.”?In regards to the way that social media has impacted us individually we are able to peak into each other’s life to gather data about industries we work in, the types of jobs we do, how we progressed and pivoted throughout our career, view each others skills and educational accomplishments and so much more.?As a career coach, I love the moment when I work with a client who is trying to change from higher education to ed tech and we pull up 10 different professional profiles to see how those people have gotten to where they are.?9 times out of 10 those clients eyes widen and they begin to get excited simply because they realized that they too can be creative with how they pivot into new careers just like the people’s Linkedin profiles we’ve viewing.?They get excited knowing that there isn’t a singular pathway for them to doing something new or getting to their dream job.?The beauty of social media is on full display in those moments.?But then on the other side there is almost a heaviness or burden that is cast upon some of us like a wicked curse when we think about our careers.?We see our classmates with the same degree as us all of a sudden gets 3 promotions in less than 2 years, then move on to some sexy well known company as the newest director of XYZ all the while you’ve been in your job that seems like a dead end pushing papers.?This is where social media kicks our butts and even more so, when comparison goes wrong. ?
As a former division 1 football player, I know first hand the importance of competition and comparison as it relates to getting better in our craft.?My roommate in college played the same position as me and went on to have a very successful 10 year career in the NFL.?When he was in the NFL I don’t think there was ever a time that I felt jealous of him playing ball.?I never felt jealous that we played the same position and now he is the one who is out there sacking hall of fame quarterbacks.?The only thing I felt remotely jealous of was the fact that he made millions of dollars and if I simply had 1 of his game checks I could pay for me and my wife’s student loans (but thats another story).?The point I’m making is that I didn’t love football enough to want to play in the NFL.?I didn’t even want to play football in college. I just loved being around other men, battling in the trenches, growing, pushing my mind and body to new levels.?We had 2 different dreams. ?
Comparison goes wrong when you don’t know what your purpose, mission and dream is.?I was reading “Called for a Purpose” by Dr. Pastor Tony Evans and he says, Passion and vision are two things God gives you in order to motivate you for a sustained calling.” In other words through my career coaching lens, your career alignment for determining the right fit comes by way of knowing your passion and the vision for your life.?Social media is a tool that can provide ideas and examples that can provide clarity for your vision.?Discovering your passion requires self reflection and intimate time processing with the God and the people that know you the most. ?
In this season, my hope is that you can begin to ask yourself…
What is my purpose?
What am I passionate about??
What do I want my future to look?
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Take time away from social media world if you need to….it’ll be here when you get back, trust me.?When you do come back and begin to look at peoples stories on Linkedin, think about ideas for you to be creative for carving out your career path and do be afraid to reach out to folks as well.
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