When is a cliché not a cliché?

Answer: When you’re living it!!

What do I mean by that enigmatic Q&A?!

OK, so how many times have you heard about life being a journey??

Have you ever used that cliché yourself when attempting to encourage someone going through a tough time?

I found myself saying to someone a few months ago the same thing, however specifically about grief… that every grief journey is different.

This lady had recently lost her Dad for whom she had cared for the past 12 years through his dementia. She had lost her Mum some years before and I was sharing my experience of the difference between when my husband died and when my Mam died.

In fact, I have had multiple grief journeys losing Mother-in-law, Father-in-law, Brother-in-law, and husband in the space of 10 years. The whole family wiped out!

10 years respite and now in the last two I have lost both my parents.

I’m not sharing this for a sympathy vote.

Far from it!

I’m sharing to illustrate that I have experienced a few different journeys in recent times, and that’s counting the close family members.

My point is GRIEF sucks!

Just when I thought I had a handle on it,

an understanding,

an appreciation, even…

up pops another example of yet another journey to experience!!!

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I have tried ignoring,

doing “busy,”

numbing out with activity

in the hope that if I pay it no attention at all, it will magically go away!

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News Flash!

It doesn’t!

Grief comes in waves

and usually at the most inopportune moments, in my experience.

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So, I tried to be efficient – gave myself a whole weekend to process my Mam’s death!

Can you believe that??!!

It sounds ludicrous, doesn’t it?

Yet that was my strategy as clearly ignoring/numbing out on busy hadn’t worked!!

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Errrmmm!

Not so blindingly obvious news flash…

That didn’t work either and those waves of grief (compounded by those previous ones I’d been avoiding) kept surfacing at inopportune moments

Only to be suppressed and locked away in the fascial tissues of my body.

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So fast forward to my most recent journey which began all of a week ago with my 95-year-old Dad’s passing.

I believe Einstein is credited with saying that the definition of madness is repeating an activity and expecting a different result (paraphrased).

Armed with that nugget I decided to give myself some grace and compassion and take a week off work to allow myself to

Feel all the emotions that came up…

And believe me, they did!

Dad, Mam, Hubby, and all his family!

At times, the sobs were so deep I thought I was going to vomit, literally!

If I’d had shares in Kleenex last week, it would have been a great week!! ??

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Now, I’m not under any illusion that one week is long enough to process, digest and release grief from six different close losses.

I had a different relationship with each one of them, so each of them requires their own set of emotions to process.

Each grief journey really is unique.

I believe I have allowed myself some space and grace to acknowledge that I’m not a robot.

I’m a human being with a role/relationship with each of them that has now gone.

I have learnt that the common denominator in all of them is me!

I have learnt and continue to learn that my feelings matter, they are valuable to me and when they are allowed to be experienced, they can release.

I am lighter as a result!

I feel more energetic as I release the old, imprisoned emotions.

I feel more able to serve my clients at a much higher level.

I have focused on how #consciouscommunication plays out in my own life so am better able to lead my tribe in their quest to be conscious re how they communicate in their internal Q&A, how they can communicate with the outside world, and also that interface between thought and intuition that goes on inside the body (intrernal communication).

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I trust this has spoken to someone who is also on one or any number of grief journeys.

PM me if you want to talk further…

?#consciouscommunication

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