When Will Change Finally Matter?

It had been stormy. Such weather makes for some incredible skies. I wish so much the turmoil engulfing our nation might become real change. But I understand, as in all things, such change begins with me. I fear our unwillingness to listen to “the other side,” as if simply hearing another’s view, will be a score that takes one down especially since the opposite is true. We can’t heal when we inflict silence & refuse another’s history. We should ponder what it is we fear. Shannon Adler noted:

“When you judge other people without wanting to know the true story behind their actions, is usually when there is something inside of you that is so broken that if you found out what you believed about them was a lie, you wouldn’t want to accept it or make amends.”

I am hoping we do not get distracted over a false debate between the words “defunding” versus “reforming” police department duties. That we listen instead to where the concepts meet. If we can avoid potshots at each other this may be a profound opportunity to REIMAGINE just how civil servants might best improve lives, protect all citizens, and deliver the care needed in complex situations. Not least, we might find a way to lighten the load for those at the center of this debate-the police-who seem far overburdened with complex tasks. Expecting our police to manage all forms of psychological emergencies, child and partner crisis, relationship disputes, drug trips gone bad, citizens w/ suicidal terror & threat, managing school children in temper tantrums, distress, or adolescent acting out- how did we decide the police must handle these types of situations as well as their work in distinguishing community threat?

Were we not setting them up for a perfect storm? It seems unjust, not only to those who are in need of psychological aid to instead meet militarized force-yet equally unjust to the police. How could any human, best intentions or not, feel equipped & poised, to take all these diverse tasks on every day & at any moment? Most police join up, start out, with incredible intentions.

I know some in the force who I would consider beyond heroic. I have no idea how they have held on but, year after year they have held true to integrity I can only dream of; they remain champions to me with their capacity for calm & caring that is beyond imagining. But it does not make it fair nor just that we burden those who hold on to such goodness, nor set up for failure those who weaken or allow existing prejudices to power up villains especially under fear, fatigue, or rage. Why make a system where the champions we know exist in the system can never compensate for the crooked cops that bring ruin on all? We can reimagine a police and criminal system that is thwarted from access to racist mayhem. One that protects our good guys and let’s them shine but also unburdens all police from the extreme tasks we have thrown on their shoulders. We can listen to great ideas on how to simultaneously source solutions for such issues that were NEVER fairly a policeman’s duty. It is not about disrespect of police as much as it is rethinking what is more equitable, less corrosive, and unburdens a police force to a place where, perhaps, they too, can begin to heal their own wounds. Listening is not weakness it is courage.

Poet Lucille Clifton wrote in "won't you celebrate with me?" what i have shaped into a kind of life? i had no model. born in babylon both nonwhite and woman what did i see to be except myself? i made it up here on this bridge between starshine and clay, my one hand holding tight my other hand; come celebrate with me that everyday something has tried to kill me and has failed.

Her words seem the clearest rebuke to those who insist on misunderstanding what “Black Lives Matters” pleads. “Black Lives Matter,” asks only that we share the uneven grace granted to us born white. “Black Lives Matter” does NOT say other lives aren’t vital; far from it. It only begs we recognize in this land where other lives matter, but never, not enough, does the life of a black man or woman. You share these words, to say we care, & hope. It asks us to come to a resolution: as a person, a community, & a nation. We find the courage to MAKE justice MATTER, to MAKE fairness MATTER, TO MAKE freedom from terror & lynching MATTER. We cannot accept the bigotry of a nation where one race breathes free as another is strangled beyond silence into death. Black Lives Matter is a promise to now stand, or take a knee, or march, petition, & vote- whatever task it takes to be truly the land of the free. In this country, this democratic dream, a nation you love, you demand our constitution is no pipe dream.--Marybeth Lambe MD FAAFP