When challenging your employees goes wrong…

At the weekend, the Manchester United continued their bad form, losing again. That’s 6 defeats in the last 10 games. Their manager, Ruben Amorim responded in a post-match interview, saying, “We are the worst team maybe in the history of Manchester United.”

Why on earth would you publicly criticize your organization like this? Elite footballers are not daft. They know when they are underperforming on the field of play.

Challenging a team like this seems strange. What does Amorim gain by publicly challenging his team in this way? His comments are more typical of a top manager defending himself, effectively putting self-interest above the interests of the organization he leads. Not only that, the criticism could also damage the players’ confidence, leading to more defeats.

Behind closed doors, it’s a different story. These challenges need to be heard. At this time of year, I run Senior Management Offsites, with a focus on the strategy and high-level plans for 2025.

I’ve sat in the room and often heard Amorim-esque challenges. But they keep it there – in private.

The best executives take a different approach. They are realistic and grounded; they dialog about what is, rather than unrealistic fantasy or painful regrets. They are also humble, direct (not abstract), seek to be clear, and use constructive feedback. Criticism (negative feedback) is based on facts and data – like incorrect assumptions or data about market growth, sales figures, and customer buying patterns. Such negative feedback is also rare.

Professor John Gottman captured this dynamic in his Magic Feedback Ratio. He spent decades studying successful marriages. A ratio of 5 positive comments/interactions to 1 negative comment/interaction (between a couple) accurately predicted whether a couple would stay married, in the long term. When the ratio falls below 3:1, the marriage is on the rocks.

Researchers took it further. They looked at 60 senior management teams. The ratio held true (5.6:1) for them too. Executive teams with his ratio also ranked highest for financial performance and customer satisfaction ratings.

Maybe we need to cut Amorim some slack. English is his second language – perhaps the words slipped out wrongly. Still, as you motivate your direct reports and the employees for the year ahead, the lessons are clear: accept that we are under pressure all the time, then make three executive behaviours count – clarity of thought, being well-grounded, and intelligently challenging the organizations you lead.