When they call you a coward but do not know your story.

How often have we come across situations and episodes in life where we have rebuked someone for being a coward?

I am sure you can already think of one if you are reading this.

So who is a coward actually?

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines a coward as 'a person who is not brave and is too eager to avoid danger, difficulty or pain'.

On the other hand, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a coward as 'one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity'.

To be honest, there have been a number of instances where I have ended up reprimanding strangers or even someone I know for being a coward, for not showing the courage to be upright enough, for being weak in the face of adversity. That said, there have also been ample instances and episodes where I have myself been the coward, failing miserably to stand true to the very values I deeply admire. In fact, if I were to look back at my life till here, I could mark an entire chapter in it in red for the sheer lack of character I expressed during that period and for turning a deaf ear to the injustice that took place against me and around me.

Does it ring a bell?

I am quite sure it does. Such is the complex world of human psychology that we often criticise and admonish others for the failures on their part, for coming out as meek and timid when faced by bullies or a strong adversary, but fail to measure our actions by the same long yardstick. And this explains perfectly why we lose no time in denouncing a perfect stranger as cowardly and weak but when it comes to our own actions which are often lacking in the strength of conviction, we shield our fragile egos with glorious excuses and concocted tales.

If we would just care enough to scratch the surface and look within, we would be amazed by the wonder staring us right in our eyes. The fact as I have realised from my own experience with my shadow side is that deep inside us, as human beings we carry the seeds of both our prosperity and destruction. Which path we eventually take and whose voice we eventually follow has a lot to do with the upbringing we received and the precedents set before us by those we followed. Viewed this way, cowardice is not only a malignant aspect of human character, rather history is replete with instances where beautiful, vibrant and inherently strong individuals acted like cowards when confronted by their dominant fears - be it the fear of death, or the fear of losing a loved one, or the fear of embarrassment and ridicule, or the fear of being ignored and overlooked. It is our fear primarily, which creates a chasm between our light and shadow side, with the one most dominant conquering our psyche for the rest of our life and determining our destiny.

This is the reason why I choose not to separate cowardice from the realm of traumatic and damaging human experiences because it does not require you to be a genius to gauge that one who has been exposed to mind-numbing fear early in life or during a significant phase with no support and guidance around to show the light and lend the much needed strength ends up being a slave to fear, since, as an emotion, fear is unbelievably strong in the manner it hijacks the human mind and transforms us into puppets dancing to its tune.

That said, let me however underline that this line of argument or rather a way of looking at things is not to justify cowardice. It is not to tap cowardice on the shoulder and say that I understand you. Rather, it is a process of connecting with ourselves on a deeper level in order to understand what motivates us and vice versa so that when it comes to our interaction with those around, we can show more maturity and consideration and help out someone in need of guidance and direction instead of being judgemental and rigid with our beliefs.

As the famous saying goes, "Courage doesn't mean you don't get afraid. Courage means you don't let fear stop you."

This saying itself throws enormous light on the concept of cowardice and how it grows and proliferates because of the unabated and uncontrolled expansion of fear. What it needs therefore is just a spark of belief and inspiration ignited by a wise soul to enable a fearful mind see the strength hidden inside and eventually defeat the demons it allowed to grow all along.