When To Call IT Support

An old ‘Seuss’ tale revised for the 21st century

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted by a virus that you caught,

Or the address of the memory makes your circular disk abort,

Causing the socket packet pocket an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And double-clicking icons put your documents in the trash,

If your data is corrupted ’cause you were making such a hash,

And secretly won’t admit it, that your system’s gonna’ crash!

If the label on your cable on the table for your mouse,

Says the network is connected to VPN from your house,

But your packets want to tunnel by another protocol

That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

If your screen is all distorted by code from a high-school hack,

So the icons in the window are as wavy as San Andreas’ crack,

Then you may as well reboot and go make a call to us,

’Cause as sure as it’s your fault, it is IT you’re gonna’ cuss!

When the copy of your project gets deleted off the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,

Then we have to buy more memory to get you RAM for your ROM,

Or fix the printer jamming so you can print a picture of your Mom!

So when you call IT, IT support will do all it possibly can,

But know we’re not gods or demons, simply a person, ‘just like you man’,

You can be sure that we’re the cure for the sickness that you feel,

We’re not virtual or cloned, not an image, or technically surreal,

And when you’re desperate and in need, of a computer to fix or loan,

You can call us to help you, we won’t abandon you all alone,

Cause we’re the intel’ of your Intel, inside your box we see,

We’re your guardians of your matrix … so remember… be kind to your IT!

(Updated by Antony A Jones - Inspired by Dr Seuss)