When to call a bad mood at work
When is it OK to name a bad mood at work, with a colleague or coworker?
Moods and emotions are often seen as territory best avoided, especially in the workplace. Perhaps we think that emotions are the realm of experts, best left to psychologists or professionals.
Yet we all know that the right conversation in the wrong mood is... bad news.
So when is it really OK to name a mood?
Let's imagine, for one moment, that it's not an emotion involved, but it's something really obvious that's getting in the way. Let's imagine that there's a meeting where it's so noisy that no-one can hear one-another. We'd deal with it straight away.
To experience emotions is to be human. We're human, we have emotions. Women and men have emotions, despite gender stereotypes. There's nothing wrong with talking about them, and "to name it is (often) to tame it". Once we've named it, we can move on – but to leave it hanging can be really counterproductive.
Here are a few questions to ask before addressing a negative mood:
- Is it getting in the way of the task at hand? If the mood is preventing you or others from making progress, it's a good idea to call it. Not by saying "you're in a bad mood", but by asking "is everything OK"
- Do you feel calm yourself? We're all human, we all have moods. The time to call a mood is not when you're feeling stressed, annoyed or frustrated!
- Is the setting appropriate? No-one likes to be made a fool of, so consider the social setting in which you have the conversation. One on one can be much easier than in a group, unless the whole group appears to be experiencing the emotion – in which case it's still worth naming.
If you sense that a bad mood is getting in the way of effective teamwork or performance, don't struggle on.
Check in, ask a question and address it so the conversation can focus on the task at hand.
Design Leadership Webinar
Each month I run a free webinar on Design Leadership. The next event is Tuesday 10 November 2020 and we'll focus on how we develop emotional leadership to design compelling stories for change. If you're looking to learn how to work with emotions at work in a way that improves outcomes, join us.