When Being "Too Emotional" Becomes Your Superpower: A Leadership Journey

In my previous articles, I've shared stories about growing up in our family bodega and the leadership lessons learned between boxes of Café Bustelo and conversations across the counter. Today, I want to explore something deeper: how being "too emotional" – once considered my greatest weakness – became my most valuable leadership asset.

I still remember the well-meaning warnings: "You cry at commercials, Gwen. You need to toughen up to run a business." The message was clear: emotional sensitivity and strong leadership couldn't coexist. Perhaps you've heard similar words yourself, or felt the pressure to "toughen up" to be taken seriously.

But here's what decades of experience has taught me: they were wrong. Dead wrong.

My journey took me from that bodega counter to classrooms in Newark where I helped teenagers dream bigger, through international development work where I rose to executive leadership, always carrying with me that same "weakness" – the ability to feel deeply and connect authentically with others.

What those early critics missed was the profound difference between being "emotional" and having emotional intelligence. Yes, I feel things deeply. I always have. But this sensitivity isn't a leadership liability – it's a finely tuned instrument that helps read situations, understand unspoken dynamics, and connect with people in ways that traditional "tough" leadership never could.

After eleven years in international development, life presented me with a pivotal choice. When my organization closed its doors, I was a new mother facing a familiar pressure – to "tough it out" and jump into the next traditional role. Instead, I chose to listen to that emotional wisdom I'd spent years developing. I chose to put myself first, something many of us in public service and leadership roles find nearly impossible to do.

Does this resonate with you? Have you ever felt caught between the leader you're expected to be and the deeply feeling human you are? Or perhaps you're at your own crossroads, wondering if there's space in leadership for your whole, emotional self?

Today, as I coach others through their leadership journeys, I see so many struggling with this same false choice – between being "professional" and being authentically and fully them. But here's what I've learned: our greatest impact often comes when we stop fighting our nature and instead learn to harness it.

This isn't just my story. It's a call to all the "too emotional" leaders out there: Your sensitivity isn't a weakness to overcome – it's a strength to embrace. In a world crying out for more human-centered leadership, your ability to feel deeply, connect authentically, and lead with emotional intelligence isn't just valuable – it's vital.

Are you ready to discover how your emotional intelligence might be your greatest leadership asset? Schedule a call with me to connect and perhaps explore the behavioral assessment tool I use to help leaders identify and harness their unique superpowers. Whether you're navigating a transition or looking to amplify your impact, let's explore how your sensitivity can become your strength.?