WHEN ADULTS DO NOT HEAL.

Titi always felt inferior. Even at 28, she still had not gotten over her parent's lack of affection which she craved as a child. Growing up, she struggled to be noticed and accepted even among her peers as a teenager. As an adult, she had anger control issues and often slipped into depression, using alcohol and drugs to supplement her pain. This made it impossible for her to keep a job, much less a relationship. And if she did find herself in one, she would ruin it with her insecurities that stemmed from not being good enough. Her constant craving for love and attention caged her in a toxic relationship where her boyfriend always cheated on her and would beat her up at the slightest provocation. This continued until a friend advised her to see a therapist who helped her overcome her childhood experience.

Time they say, heals all wounds, but this is not often the case for most victims of childhood trauma because surviving abuse or trauma as a child has been linked with higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicide and self-harm, PTSD, drug and alcohol misuse and relationship difficulties. Research has shown that 46% of children are likely to experience trauma growing up, which can impact their mental health. The psychological effects of traumatic experiences include but are not limited to anger management, depression, emotional distress, high levels of stress, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and psychotic disorders.

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Unresolved trauma makes us subconsciously revisit painful past experiences, making healing from a traumatic childhood experience very daunting and challenging. For some people, it requires years of consistent therapy and intentional habits to help them live everyday life. Childhood trauma can stay unresolved, and symptoms can remain hidden for a while, even into adulthood. However, when people experience stress that results in emotional turbulence or an event that serves as a reminder of their traumatic experience, it takes them back to the original experience.

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Childhood trauma has been defined as an emotionally painful and distressful event experienced by a child which could impact the child mentally and physically for an extended period. This frightening event could initiate solid emotional responses that could persist, affecting the child's adult life. The Michigan ACE initiative (2019) holds that Victims might experience difficulties trusting, low self-esteem, fears of being judged, constant attempts to please, outbursts of frustration, or social anxiety symptoms that won't let up.

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It is believed that the memories from the traumatic experience might elude the person's consciousness, but there are noticeable signs that play out in the person's daily activities. Some of the symptoms of unresolved trauma that adults must be aware of are: anxiety or panic attacks, feeling of shame, Suffering from chronic or ongoing depression, Practicing avoidance of people, places, or things that may be related to the traumatic event, flashbacks, nightmares, addiction and eating disorders, Sleeping issues including trouble going to sleep or staying asleep, Suffering from feelings of detachment, feeling stranded in a toxic relationship, remembering and talking about past events with pain and struggling with change.

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This is why trauma must be approached using a holistic perspective. It requires seeking therapy with a well-trained counsellor by acknowledging that you have not healed. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness instead, it shows that you are intentional about healing. Many therapists usually combine cognitive restructuring, behavioral change, relaxation or meditation, and sometimes medication for healing.

Time is not enough to heal wounds, even though some people are lucky to heal over time.

Coach Adetutu is a Pharmacist, Co-founder Hazon Holdings, MD/CEO Wellness Healthcare group, health tech enthusiast, Emotional & Mental Wellness Coach and Doctoral Student, her earnest desire is to influence individuals to make healthy lifestyle choices.

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