??What's your YES saying NO to?

Is people pleasing stealing the future you want the most?

YES: What Are You Saying NO To?

??When I was a kid, thinking long-term was my mental health strategy—though I didn’t realize it at the time.

Whenever life at home got rough and things felt too overwhelming, I would escape by planning for the future.

I’d design what my life could look like and focus on what I could do today to move toward that vision.

It became my #1 way of coping.

Fast forward three decades, and that little survival strategy has turned into my ??superpower in a world obsessed with instant gratification. It’s also something I now teach my ambitious clients.

The Real Choice

As you progress in life, the decisions get harder.

It’s no longer about choosing between what you want and what you don’t want. Instead, it’s about choosing between what you want and what you want most.

Here’s what it might look like:

• ?Casual coffees: You’ve got an important presentation in four weeks. You schedule your prep time and say no to casual hangouts with friends and family—even though you love those—because you’ve made a commitment to yourself, your work, your priority.
• ??Getting in your TOP fitness: You have a personal health goal. You plan your meals and workouts for the next month, which means saying no to some nights out or dinners with loved ones, saying no to your favorite grandma’s cookies.
• ??Relationships that matter most: You want to improve your family relationships (which ain’t always easy or pleasant). That means saying no to fun solo activities or outings with friends and coworkers so you can invest more quality time in your key relationships. Depth over quantity.
• ??Having a dream, building a vision: You’re building your dream business. For the first couple of years (or a decade), you choose to pay yourself just the bare minimum. It’s a sacrifice you make now to create a meaningful life in the long run.

And the list goes on...

So, How Do You Develop the Discipline for Hard Choices???

The choices your future self will be proud of?

Practice. Practice. Practice.

• It starts with accepting reality. As the saying goes, “Hard choices – Easy life. Easy choices – Hard life.” Acknowledge the trade-offs you’re making.

• Then, do a little time travel in your mind. Picture yourself 10 years from now and ask, “What would future Angela be proud of? What would they thank me for?” Recognize the conflict between the future you desire and the choices you make today.

• When communicating these tough choices to others, try the “Yes-No-Yes” structure: “I have this prior commitment/goal (YES to your future self and priorities), and I can’t do X with you (NO to that coffee thing). But perhaps we can do X on this date? (YES in a way that respects your future)”

• And finally, ??put in the reps. Remind yourself of the purpose behind these harder choices. Over time, making these decisions will become second nature—like how choosing apples over ice cream is a no-brainer for me now.

Will It Get Easier?

Yes.

Just like anything else, when it becomes a habit.

Will it be hard to start?

Absof*ckinlutely!

That’s where guardrails and accountability systems come in handy until you’re strong enough to go without them.

So, here’s the question of the day to start asking yourself regularly,

??With this YES, what am I saying NO to in the future I say I want?

Out and Over

Angela, Helping Your Best to Choose the Right YESes

PS: Want to work on building those better YES habits together? Let’s chat!