What's your W?

This text is about motivation, perspectives, and being grateful. Normally I write in Swedish but there is a good reason to why this text was born in English.

This is an Easter chronicle. It has literally nothing to do with Easter, other than being written during Easter. I speak of saving cookies, to find your drive and purpose, understanding yourself, and your right to proclaim yourself and stuff you are proud of. We will be all over the place, in vans driving through Georgia and inside our own heads trying to figure things out.

I woke up this morning, thinking in English after a dream from my earlier years at an American school. Why do I mention "thinking in English" like it is a thing, you might wonder? I see it as a privilege because of the words in the back of my head stating: when you dream in a different language, then in fact, you are fluent in that language. I recall when it happened to me the first time, a dream in English. I was waking up in my student dorm room in North Carolina during the second semester attending Pfeiffer University, in the small village of Misenheimer.

Apparently, rumor has it anyway, Brooke Shields went there for a semester, prior to my arrival. This story is not confirmed but why question it. It is a good story, I went to the same school as Brooke. It is a better story than that I did not go the same school as her. Would you not agree? She went on to be a famous actor. I went back to Sweden, still to this day awaiting the Hollywood career from a far.

Going back to why I found it important to dream in English, it was a matter of acclimatizing to the new life and to feel secure about living and breathing so far away from home and everything I was used to. I could understand and make myself understood, able to make my personality shine through in social situations, and feel I was really a part of something and not just a temporary visitor.

I started reminiscing on playing soccer for the university team. Back then it was always about the win. We wanted that W, the win. Let us fight for the W and leave everything out there. We did our fair share of winning and it felt good. It changed everything, walking around campus after a home game or the upbeat mood on the way home in the vans from an away game. Maybe we stopped at Mickey D's, the Olive Garden, Subway or Hardees before sitting tired in the vans back to university premises. Everyone at the restaurants always knew whether or not we had won, without a word. It was as clear as day.

Little did I know that the W later could measure up to something else, like a bigger purpose, a Why or maybe the entire World. The strive for Ws in the soccer context meant long-haul trips in our vans up in the mountains in North Carolina, down through the South, all the way to Florida and that states’ large gatekeeper in Jacksonville. I remember a remarkable bridge, seemed to me like an ivory kind of construction with fluorescent light effectively creating a dreamlike hoovering impression. Not a worry in the World, beside the upcoming exams in intermediate accounting or international business, and when I would get enough preparations made to defend my colors also in the classroom, and not only on the pitch.

Another worry could be the driving skills illustrated by one of my team mate's who was with a heavy right foot and a hot temper. A temper saying everyone else on the roads were enemies trying to sabotage his rampage. Nothing other than a few hard brakings and trouble avoiding swerves ever happened, with the effect of a flying book or two followed by a portable music device when thrown in a spontaneously inflicted brace position.

I did not fully appreciate then how privileged we were. I was happy - yes. But I also felt entitled to more, higher scholarships for soccer and for academics, and more money in general. I was always thinking of making money, how I could make money through valet parking at the exclusive golf and country club or through on-campus work and make fund-raising calls among Pfeiffer Alumni, these were my concerns. It was really never enough. Not enough money, and not enough recognition because that is also what money is in our society. We could go in a very different direction with that idea of recognition in mind but let us save that until later. In retrospect, it was enough. It was plenty enough. The opportunity in itself to be there was enough.

Now it is nostalgia and happy memories, and I view this period in my life as very much the defining years of how my adult person would be. It was good for me to be in a place where it was allowed to think something of yourself. To believe you are someone, someone who matters. You know the whole humble bragging going on in the world, on social media such as LinkedIn. Some cultures nurture more of that than others do. I think one of the least problems we have in the world are people who think too much of themselves. It might not even be a problem. Do not read these words out loud or even whisper inside your own head: - "It might not even be a problem".

When growing up in a small place in Sweden, I learned if you were to promote yourself or even brag, you better back it up. If you say you enjoy tennis and grew to excel at it, have a few Wimbledon trophies to show for it. Back it up good, because otherwise some people would start thinking that this person seems to think she/he is someone. The eternal sin. I am kidding some, but there is also some truth and seriousness lying within this. Alright, instead think a lot of yourself, that is my advice. Believe in yourself.

Let compliments fly, do not worry about inflation in that regard. Remember the babies who received cheering and applause for taking a few stumbling steps without falling or managing to figure out what thing actually was the ceiling lamp. Let them rain down heavily with memories of how proud these little people were. Their faces cracking joy with ear to ear smiles and glittering eyes.

Back to things being enough, it also makes me think of the expression to settle with something. It has a touch of not being quite enough. We will have to settle with that. The feeling that remains is that we did not fully achieve all we were looking for. Just maybe, settling is the optimal amount, value, or remuneration, and not the maximum which seems to have become the optimal level.?I believe with ESG as the new topic and obsession, a well intended punt to call it that, we will see less companies speaking of their aim to maximize profits and shareholder dividends.

As a human being in favor for metaphors, I must say this: Keep the last cookie in the jar to maintain our ability to make new ones. It is our blueprint, or recipe, to stay true with the baking context of this metaphor. Once the last cookie is missing, we have to know how to make new ones. Also, you never know if there will be extra guests at your table, in your coffee shop, at your reception, or in your meeting. Keep extra cookies.

What is your W? It will always be different Ws for us through life. My W today is more about the world or purpose in why I want to do certain things, rather than wins and always wanting to score money or winning in general. I want the world to be a better place for children in many years to come, that is more of my why nowadays.

And a lot could be said about cultures, norms, and which society that works better but it is interesting to compare individualistic views to collective views. The eclectic bombastic approach versus the sober realistic approach. I did tone it down a notch when I moved back to Sweden again. But I still feel strongly about stretching the boundaries and not be silenced into fitting in a box. Therefore I brag, I woke up thinking in English. How about that? The Easter chronicle has come to an end. Said and done. Signed, sealed, and delivered.

Yours,

Michael