What's in Your Toolbox?
Michael OBrien (He/Him)
I'm a Reactive Mind Circuit Breaker | Mindset and Executive Coach | Speaker | Podcast Host | Meditation Teacher | Creator of The Pause Breathe Reflect Mindset App
Yesterday at Montclair, New Jersey's Farmers' Market, I talked with people about an urgent problem: our need to unplug and?The Global Day of Unplugging? on March 7, 2025.
I spoke to a range of teens and adults, like a cafe owner about her?Tech Neck pain (yes, it's a real thing - experts say that our text head tilt exerts a force on our spines of 50 to 60 lbs) and with retired teachers about our inability to communicate face to face and beyond texting.
Our conversations shared a common thread: Our nervous systems are overloaded. We're on edge, and I bet you see the signs—from stress-induced illness to social media nastiness, from fear of saying the wrong thing (because they might have a gun) to the seemingly benign coping mechanisms like an extra glass of pinot or another handful of Cheez-It - by the way, they do pair nicely.
Since Y2K and 9-11; through Gulf Wars and global economic meltdowns; amid political drama, social media chaos, and the pandemic; buying the bacon and frying it up in the pan; while parenting both our children and our parents—we've been stuck in what feels like a reactive mind doom loop. We could use a circuit breaker.
I'm sure you have them in your house or apartment.
Why do you have them?
Yes, I know, they're required by building codes.
But what if they weren't?
Would you live without them, knowing what you know about all the electricity running through your home?
Would you risk your system getting overloaded and sparking a home fire?
I'm with you. It would scare me to live without them.
Thankfully our homes are protected, but we are exposed.
The electrical system in your house is to your nervous system what a circuit-breaker is to?Pause Breathe Reflect. It's the break you take to prevent burnout.
Here's what I haven't mentioned yet: how we use our smartphones, for most people, is adding to our nervous system burden.
I've asked nearly three thousand people, including those at the Farmers' Market and through?Smartphone Wellness Checks , if they'd like to spend more, less, or the same amount of time on their phones compared to today, and nobody has shared that they want to spend more time, which might be all we need to know about how we see our phones.
So what are we to do?
Well, there's?hope ; there's always hope.
We can start by shifting and seeing our phones as digital toolboxes, similar to the one you might have at home. Your physical toolbox likely contains various screwdrivers, wrenches, a hammer, measuring tape, nuts and bolts, and some rarely-used items. You might even have a drill or a replacement circuit breaker.
If you have potentially toxic items like solvents, I'm sure you keep them out of harm's way so your kids and pets don't get into them. You might even mark them with an X for caution. They wouldn't be in your toolbox.
Now, look at your phone—your digital toolbox. You probably have work apps like email or Slack, utility apps like Maps and Chrome, Lyft, Camera, Text, and some rarely-used apps.
For the apps that might be a little toxic, perhaps you've labeled them with an X or placed them in a folder out of harm's way.
Fun fact:?In separate studies, when Gen Z and adults were asked which social platform they wished was never invented - 50% of both groups said X—??.
What's in both toolboxes helps us live more efficiently, create and fix things, and even pass the time. But there's a difference: one is starting to run our lives.?
But there is?hope. ?Remember, there's always hope.
If you still need to get our Pause Breathe Reflect app, let me reintroduce it to you.
It gives your nervous system a break via practical micro-moments that act as circuit breakers for when your reactive mind takes over and keeps you safe. It has changed lives; it has saved lives. I know because I've received the letters.?
As we head into 2025, tech and AI will speed up life, while global uncertainty and shocking people doing shocking things will add to your reactive mind's overload.
It might feel like the world is on fire - well, actually, it is. That's for another post. But Billy Joel got it right when he sang,?"We didn't start the fire,"?but today it's burning hotter and we need to fight it better.?
It's time to download?Pause, Breathe, Reflect , break our reactivity, and prevent future fires from happening. Your future self and Smokey the Bear will thank you.
Until next week, have fun storming the castle!
Michael
"If we want to keep our sanity and our society in one piece, we must learn to control our attention and to focus it where we choose. {Slowing down and creating space} isn't just about regulating your stress; it's a way to safeguard your agency."?- Yuval Noah Harari
I am sitting on an airplane right now for a much needed respite for two days. Airplanes have always been my favorite place to disconnect. The place I can take a breath and think and breathe and just be for a couple hours. Today I realize just how overstimulated I am. I am really struggling to disconnect. I was really looking forward to getting into my thoughts a bit and just doing some thinking and praying. We are landing in 30 min - and I am disappointed I have wasted this precious time at 35,000 feet.