What's Your Thing?

It’s a Tuesday evening in late 1999 and I’m picking up our three-year-old son Dustin from the Stepping Stones daycare center he attends in Munford, TN.? I’ve just finished another long day at my first job after the Navy, U.T. Medical Group in Memphis. ?Barb is picking Allison up from her daycare and we'll meet up at home.

He’s not especially talkative, preferring to listen to music.? As I watch through the rear-view mirror, I can see him sitting in his car seat.? He has his favorite songs which he wants me to play over and over.? Another One Bites the Dust by Queen.? Shock the Monkey by Peter Gabriel, and his absolute favorite, St. Louis Blues March by Glenn Miller.? This instrumental begins with a marching drumming sequence, then breaks into a swinging brass number.? As it plays, I see Dustin moving his arms and hands to the beat as if he’s feeling the music.? It’s the first time I’ve seen him do this.? Certainly not the last.? As he grows up, he does the requisite recorder playing in elementary school and later plays the clarinet in middle school.? In 8th grade, he asks to take piano lessons.? He’s really good.

We decide to spend the money and send him to Our Lady of Good Council, a private Catholic high school to avoid the rampant gang problems at the public school he’s slated to attend.? It’s expensive.? Really expensive.? To help offset the tuition, we encourage Dustin to audition for a music scholarship.? He intends to play the piano.? His choice of song is My Heart Will Go On.? He plays beautifully at home.? We know he’ll do well at the audition.

On audition day, we take Dustin to Good Council and meet Mr. Spotswood, the music teacher.? He explains the audition process to us, mentioning all music candidates must also do a voice audition.? This is unfortunate news for the usually shy Dustin.? He takes him into the music room and closes the door.? We can’t hear much, so we cross our fingers and wait.

15 minutes later, Mr. Spotswood emerges with Dustin.? We stand up to hear the news.

“Well Mr. and Mrs. Munro, Dustin was just ok on the piano, but we would like to offer him a scholarship for his voice.”

This is news to us.? As a 14-year-old, I didn’t think the quiet Dustin even knew how to speak anymore, let alone sing.? He attends Good Council and sings in the chorus all four years.? We still have yet to hear him sing solo.? Barb’s dream was to have him sing the National Anthem at her Navy Retirement Ceremony, but he refused.? In a chorus though, he was on fire.

Now, at nearly 30, Dustin has rediscovered music.? He mixes house music and he’s really good.? It’s a nice stress reliever for him and I can see his demeanor improving all the time.? The other night Dustin was doing a live session on Instagram.? As Barb and I watched him mixing the tracks, I saw his hands doing the same motion he did as a child to St. Louis Blues in the back seat of my car. He is feeling the music.

Music is Dustin’s thing.? He needs to do it every day to maintain balance.

In 1991, my first wife and I divorce.? I move in with my grandparents and have my two kids, Krystal and Clayton each weekend.? It’s tough.? I am confined to one bedroom and can’t let the kids run wild through the house.? They are young, four and two respectively.

Krystal is the stereotypical little girl who does girly things.? She loves having her hair fixed up and loves dressing up.? She’ll often stack two outfits on top of each other.? But she loves playing with her baby dolls.

I survive on about $20.00 per week and fortunately, my grandma feeds me.? I use my money to buy stuff I want, including splurging on three, 99 cent, generic two-liter bottles of soda.? I keep these in my bedroom.? One weekend, I see Krystal singing a lullaby to what I think is her doll.? Instead, she’s got one of my bottles of generic diet cola wrapped in a blanket. She's putting her "baby" to bed. ?Krystal was born to be a mother.

And so, when she grew up, she became one.? She’s mom to my five grandkids that range from one all the way up to eight years old.? Krystal is what people refer to as a Tradwife.? She homeschools the kids, cooks everything from scratch, including grinding her own flour.? It’s common to see her with a little one on her back, one in her arms, and the free hand cooking.? She works tirelessly.? It almost seems effortless to her. ?Whenever we visit she cooks for us and treats us as if we are no extra trouble. ?I don't know how she does it. ?I love her for it.

Being a mom is Krystal’s thing.? She does it every day and it gives her balance.

When I was in fifth grade, I discovered model building.? It became my obsession.? Then I built dioramas around those model planes and military vehicles. I painted the little figures with great detail. And I was good at it.? This form of art gave me peace and got me through the hell that was middle school.

In 2020, I rediscovered art through a Bikablo drawing class I took just before COVID shut the world down.? That got me through those dark times.? I moved to pastels and then watercolor.? Then I discovered sculpting and pottery.? I now find myself painting in details on pottery.? I use underglaze instead of those toxic paints I used as a boy.? And it gives me the same sense of peace.

Art is my thing.? I need to do it every day to maintain balance.

When Dustin was in fifth grade, he had a geography project to do.? It involved making a diorama of the Great Wall of China.? I was more excited than he was.? It was like I was in fifth grade again.

We sketched out our project.? I would help him construct the mountains using Styrofoam chunks and then take strips of an old pillow case, dip them in wet plaster, and smooth them over the Styrofoam to form them.? Then we would make the wall out of some plastic strips and paint it.

As Dustin and I sat on the basement floor mapping it out, we were joined by Allison, who was in third grade.?Allison was always the more creative of the two.? She was always drawing something or fashioning art out of scraps of material she found in the basement.? Once, Barb and I came home from a cruise with some of those little umbrellas they stick in your overpriced drinks.? Allison took them, fashioned them into a shadow box in one afternoon, and won a ribbon at the art contest at the Montgomery County Fair.? She took a bunch of junk from my dad’s basement and built a robot.? Her creativity is endless.

As I mixed the plaster and dipped the strips of cloth in, I watched her.

It was her eyes that caught my attention.? It was almost as if I could see her dreaming up the possibilities of plaster.? As if she was imagining what she could do with it. I’ve seen that same energy several times with her.? It’s almost like art mesmerizes her.

As of today, she’s an adult navigating the corporate grind of endless meetings, stress, office politics, and the like.? It’s wearing her out.? I can see it.? I can hear it.? When I’m with her I can feel it.

Art is Allison’s thing too.? She needs to do it every day to maintain balance.? I’m trying to stress this.

And I’m stressing it with you.

What’s your thing?? If you know, are you doing it?

I think we are all gifted with at least one thing that balances everything else out.? When we use it, the balance created helps us make it through the stresses of life.

But most people haven’t discovered it.? Which is why society is in such a dark place.? Certainly, world and national events create stress, but if there isn’t something to balance it, it will become overwhelming.? I felt it before 2020.? I don’t feel it as much now.? When I do, I’ll shut off the news and escape to the pottery studio and stick my hands in clay.? That gives me balance.? Just like music does to Dustin.? Just like being a mom does for Krystal.? And just like it will happen to Allison if she chooses to get back into art.

So, what’s your thing?

Think about the simple things that gave you peace as a child. ?Maybe it was caring for animals, playing music, or creating art.

Now think of what it would look like to find this again. ?Volunteer at a farm. Take a music lesson. ?Sign up for an art class at a local studio (this is how I found my "thing" by the way).

Why not make this year the year you rediscover it.? Your peace and tranquility await.? I want you to find it.