What's your Story?

We all love a great story. Real or imaginary, stories help us identify with people, values and goals that resonate in us. The stories we tell ourselves live inside us. The stories others tell about us live outside of us.?

Have you ever had a conversation or meeting that made you upset, but the other person thought everything went great? Perhaps you saw yourself as a hero or victim, with an enemy or persecutor thwarting your plans. Do you suppose that’s the story they tell themselves about your relationship? Do they know your story? Do you really know theirs?

I’ve often felt my story didn’t deserve telling. I haven’t invented a life-changing gadget, built a billion-dollar empire or been bitten by a radioactive spider. I’ve implemented reliable systems to build company processes around the customer experience. I’ve helped business owners grow from small operations to exit events; but nothing you’ve heard of (unless that’s why you’re in my network reading this ??).?

In a world where “sales cures all ills” and countless groups are promising to 10x your sales pipeline, it didn’t seem like a story anyone wanted to hear. Why put in the effort to make your business better when you can make it bigger? Then you’ll have the capital to invest in making your company better.?

Thinking through either scenario, you could 10x your sales and spend a minimum of 10-15% of your revenue in total execution, with a variety of service issues to work out from an incomplete customer experience. You could also fail to increase your sales and have the same result, but affecting a smaller overall pool.?

In hospitality, automotive repair, project management, technology installation, service and repair and over the past four years optimizing traffic at signalized intersections across the US, I’ve worked with some tremendous teams. I’ve had moments like I described above, feeling unappreciated, obstructed or abused; I’m sure others have the same stories of me. I lacked the confidence to speak sincerely and be vulnerable to an honest response. Despite many articulate conversations with my steering wheel (I’m so glad there were no recording device on-board back then!), I didn’t see the dramatic change in myself.?

While this may be intuitive for some, I’ve only recently realized that most of the people in my network still don’t know me, or what I really do. Many have impressions from things I’ve said or done in their presence, or heard afterwards. Only a handful have first-hand knowledge of who I am or what I do. I can’t expect others to know a story that I haven’t told.?

Perhaps some of this rings true for you too. “Fake it til you make it” has been the dogma for so many years, how do we tell a story that stands out from all of the beauty, extravagance and opulent success that can be found in others’ stories online??

I’ve committed myself to sincerity, knowing that I won’t have impressive stories to most out there. I’ve helped business owners adapt their systems to achieve growth and net many multiples of my cost through those efforts. For some, that’s a story worth sharing.?

If you feel like your story has become more about what’s happened to you than what you’ve made happen, it’s probably time to reframe your story. By making it to LinkedIn you’ve likely impacted change somewhere - who cares if it isn’t as glamorous as you’d like? Take pride in doing your work well. Learn from mistakes along the way. Be curious about things that spark your interest and explore what you can gain from knowing more about them.?

The story you tell yourself will change. As you find your niche in life, cultivate your story to emphasize it (we’ll talk more about this soon). The important thing is to put yourself out there. We can’t expect others to know a story we haven’t told. Profiles, resumes and articles like this are all ways to put yourself out there to find friends in your story.?

I gained confidence in myself once I understood my value well enough to communicate it. With this confidence, I could better face my own shortcomings, mistakes and criticisms without defensiveness. I learn from them all, but they aren’t my story.?

As we work on our goals this year, tell a story of yourself that’s headed in that direction. Negative thinking and talking will lead to stories that dissuade us from our goals - even make us think we don’t deserve them. Positive stories promote positive actions and assumptions, influencing every decision throughout the day.??

You don’t have to be a hero, celebrity or guru to have a story worth sharing. If you’re still writing the first chapters of your story, that’s exciting! Origin stories are rough, but some of the best parts! If you’re further along, now is a great time to revisit your origin story… your journey would be great to share!