What's Your Story?
The power of story is timeless, has connected humanity for eons and continues to do so today. Our Native American oral traditions tap into our brains (and spirits) which are hardwired to be moved by the power of story. All our wisdom, morals, lessons, values and virtues were handed down this way. Why? Because the story sticks to our spiritual ribs and moves, guides and inspires us on the journey. I don’t remember much of what I learned in college – especially thermodynamics – but I still remember stories my grandma told me when I was seven years old. And I bet you do too!
Because of this dynamic, it is crucial that we are aware of the stories we tell about our own experiences, history, what we are going through in this moment and where we’re headed. The stories we tell in our minds, or out loud, are the ones we tend to live in the real world. We can become so committed to these stories that we will argue with others or ignore information when it isn’t congruent with the story we’re telling!
The good news here is that our stories are in our hands. Whatever kind of life you want to live, career you want to build or legacy you want to leave will come from the story you tell. After all, we live the stories we tell. Here’s how to do it better:
Ponder…but not too much. We need to be action oriented in all we do since results come only from action and not intentions. Create the story you want to live – and then live it. Don’t fall into the trap of crafting a beautiful, detailed story of what you intend to do and then neglect to act. Ponder your story, craft one that is clear, compelling and inspiring, and then live it!
Be as careful handling our words as handling eggs or knives. Our words and stories can be the promise of new beginnings and growth, like an egg, when we speak with excitement about our ideas or tell stories that inspire us and others. Or they can tear, cut and leave scars, like a knife, when we speak in doom and gloom, disaster and justification of why we’re stuck, scared or can’t move forward. Be aware of the words you use, the lessons you learn through your experience, and how you share that with others.
Tell a different story – everything is neutral until WE give it meaning. The universe doesn’t define events it as good or bad -- we do -- by the narrative we create around it. At a conference last year, an attendee shared several minutes of vitriol about his job, his family and life in general, never once mentioning a solution or even a positive thought about the road ahead. I walked away feeling drained. Another attendee was an Army veteran who had lost a leg and an arm to an IED. He explained his circumstances but said, with fierce conviction, that his past losses would not define his future victories, that life goes on and he’s determined to live it fully. I left that conversation feeling inspired.
My wife Arienne always had the intention of finishing her bachelor’s degree but the years passed without this goal fulfilled. The narrative she told of why it wasn’t happening seemed convincing and logical, she cited the doubts caused by a long break from school, she’d be the oldest in her classes, her schedule was full already, etc. Two years ago, she grew tired of telling and living that story and decided to change it, saying “if not now, when?” and explained that she would find a way, make a way, to this goal. Once she changed the story, she changed her results. She enrolled and has cranked out solid straight A’s in every class! Of course, we’re extremely proud of her success and happy to see her living her story.
In everyday life, at work and in our relationships, we see constant examples of people telling the story they’re living and living the story they tell. The good news is that if we don’t like the way our story is going, we can change it! Each day we’re writing another page in it so ponder your story, craft it carefully, speak it with confidence, choose the meaning of it and align it with your outcome.
What will yours be?