What's Your Story?

A sign in Union Square invited passersby to write their story and post it on a story wall – a physical structure of some sort. This was one of several that have appeared in parks near me over the past few years. Anyone can participate, and everyone can read what has been shared.

People always gather to write and/or read. Although I am intrigued, I have not participated. There is something a little too personal about these handwritten notes that makes me feel uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why.

It is the idea of someone’s “story” that stays with me – those we tell about ourselves, and those with which we sum up the lives of others.

Given the complexity of human nature, I believe we are all comprised of a myriad of stories. What piques my curiosity is how life-defining stories are determined – and what that choice of story reveals.

My Story

Over the past few months, I have been in a lengthy conversation with myself about the words I choose and their impact when telling my story.?What I learned is that I have had a long history of judging myself, typically about not being good enough in one way or another.?

I am not judgmental of others, but I can be brutal with myself! So, I made the decision to let go of self-judgment – and in doing so, I changed the narrative of my story. It has been life-changing.

My quest to continuously learn and grow is only one part of my story – it doesn’t define me.?Maybe it doesn’t have to.

The Story of Others

My mother had a cousin whose life was filled with unhappiness, and she would share her sad news in letters. She appeared to be an unwilling participant in her own narrative, settling into the viewpoint that this was her lot in life to bear. Resignation was her default response.

There must have been areas of her life that offered relief from her pain. She and my mother would have spoken about the joy she found in her children and grandchildren, but those conversations were not shared with me.

As I reflect on her today, I am aware that the story I told myself about her was that of a woman who wore a veil of overwhelming sadness. As true as that was, it was a limiting view. Her life presented a multitude of physical and emotional challenges, but she must have been more than that.

If she was asked to tell her story, would she write about her unhappiness as she did in her letters, or would she view it differently??What if her story was reframed to that of a resilient survivor – or one who stayed gentle and kind in the face of incredible adversity?

Each contains an aspect of the truth, but not all of it. It’s the choice that is important.

Encouraging Stories of Magnificence

My story continues to evolve. I still struggle at times, but I’m much stronger in my knowing that I am “good enough.” This self-acceptance is taking root and bringing positive changes.

We are all the embodiment of magnificence, and our viewpoint can be expanded to embrace our unique perfection. When we choose to see ourselves and those around us through a lens that amplifies that view, we tell a story that has the power to change our world.