What's your name?....and why it matters to me

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language” - Dale Carnegie

For as long as I can recall, the ability to remember the names of people I meet comes naturally, a thing taken for granted assuming everyone does it. My career has been one filled with the joy of working amongst a countless number of people on a daily basis and their names are often instantly recalled when greeting them throughout my travels. Many have commented about this and even jokingly referred to me as “the mayor” since I tend to address everyone by name as we pass in the corridor. Recently I have become even more aware of this ability as the circle of people I interact with has grown exponentially in my new role. Today I have decided to explore the origins of why and how I do this.

There have been those who believed I have a special technique or practice some sort of memory game learned in a course - neither is true. When growing up my father had Dale Carnegie books in the house (knowing my dad, most likely forced upon him by "Personnel" back in the day) so did I memorize the above quote or were Carnegie cassette tapes played while I slept at night? No, I'm sure it was not my father or any of Dale's self-help books nor does it come from any managerial courses taken over the years. When truly examined it comes from my mother and her Italian-American roots where a mortal sin in the family was not to properly greet, kiss, and address any relative, friend, neighbor, or acquaintance by name. One could be forgiven anything such as over eating, shouting loudly across a table, arguing a differing point of view, wearing ridiculous outfits (which I did plenty), or being plainly dramatic over nothing (which I also did plenty) but one could never be forgiven for not saying hello or goodbye BY NAME to anyone in our orbit. You faced immediate wrath, became an outcast, and were told you brought shame on the family name with a healthy dose of "thank God your grandfather is dead and spared this embarrassment" (I guess that is where my dramatic side comes from but that's another story). At a young age I witnessed far too many instances of those committing that mortal sin and simply refused to become another family statistic but secretly my real motivation was to get to know people and find out more about them.

Why I remember names is obvious to me - childhood fear of being rude passed down from strong Italian-American ladies. How I remember names is simply a high dosage of a good memory with a lifelong habit of doing so. The reason I do is suddenly clear to me - I do it because I genuinely care about people and curious to know more about them - it is not done for any other reason. The lessons learned early on in life helped shaped who I am today and that insistence of respectful treatment of guests influenced my career and life. Getting to know people by name helps me strip away titles, uniforms, accents, education, family origin, etc. thereby making them another welcomed person who happens to be in my orbit. This is a true gift from my mother and my aunts who knew very well what they were doing all those decades ago. The world needs more of this basic lesson which is gladly shared with you today.

#visitorexperience #motivation #goodmanners