What's Your Coping Strategy?

My dad and I related the best with logic — staying in the mind and not venturing into the realm of feelings except on rare occasions. The only time I ever saw him cry was when I tried to run away at thirteen years old and was caught at the bus station.The rest of the time we stuck to debating current events. He respected my viewpoints and helped me find my truth and my voice. After I moved away and went into real estate, telephone conversations centered around finances.

SOME PEOPLE REACT WITH LOGIC WHEN LIFE ISN’T GIVING THEM WHAT THEY WANT.

They avoid uncomfortable feelings by staying in their heads to come up with solutions. They are super reasonable, no matter what is happening to them or around them, which can be very irritating to more expressive types of people.?

HARMONIC TRIADS

The Enneagram system of personality and development recognizes types that cope with stress in a similar way and has grouped them into what’s called the?Harmonic Triads. These triads show three different ways people react to conflict, difficulty and loss.?

The competency triad is the focus of this article and Enneagram types?One,?Three?and?Five?belong to this category:

• Ones?are measured, disciplined and in control under stress.?
• Threes?cope by driving the most expedient solution.?
• Fives?stick with the facts, research and think about how to best manage the situation.

WORK ENVIRONMENTS TEND TO FAVOR SUPPRESSING FEELINGS AND MOVING DIRECTLY TO LOGIC

Focusing on the solution does increase efficiency, but what these types neglect is acknowledging personal feelings, their own and others. Emotions are kept at bay. In a crisis, “cool heads prevail” is the common belief, and for good reason.?Being competent, objective and efficient fosters calmness and confidence that things are manageable.

YET, EMOTIONS ARE A VITAL CLUE IN ASSESSING WHAT NEEDS ARE AND HOW TO BEST MEET THEM.

Too often, in business, numbers matter more than people, and cold announcements or formal emails are delivered with no transparency or acknowledgment of the emotional toll involved. Those that cope with logic will be much better received when they allow their emotions to surface.

Relationships improve when feelings are allowed and expressed.??

Other types can develop a growth edge by adding more logic to their process:

Positive outlook types?(Two, Seven, Nine)?would be well served to review the facts and figures more carefully and weigh all the implications before embarking on a new path or venture.

Expressive types (Four, Six, Eight)?would temper their reactivity by looking into all facets of a situation or decision before jumping in with a hasty judgment call.?

LOGIC AND COMPETENCY HAVE THEIR PLACE AND WE WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT THEM.

As with anything that is overused, they can become a liability when feelings are ignored. When feelings are brought in and expressed, it makes the logic more palatable. As leaders, people may admire a fascinating talking head or brilliant analysis, but loyalty and trust are built around a shared passion and heartfelt mission.

Mind, body and heart together make a great conscious leader.

Reach out to me for a conversation about how to lean into your authentic leadership style.

S'Marie Young | Conscious Leadership Coach (smarieyoung.com)