What's in Your Control?

When you look at the world today you will probably see many things that you feel aren't right, and need to be changed.

Huge global things such as poverty, malnutrition, homelessness, wars, mental ill health, violence against women and children, diseases such as cancer, and no doubt many other matters that come to mind.

The problem is that a number of issues we worry about are too big, or beyond our ability to influence or control.

So, we have a decision to make, we can either spend our time worrying about matters you can't (at least not immediately) influence, until it negatively affects your health.

Or, you can choose to be conscious about, those areas of your life which are directly within your sphere of influence, and focus oin how you can produce positive changes, that impact the lives of others.

The more you can identify situations, or circumstances where you can influence or create positive change, the more effective you will become as a person, and in addition, it will boost both your level of happiness and self esteem.

The challenge then, is not to get bogged down focusing your attention on things, or matters where you don't feel you have much, or enough control, but to actively search for aspects of your life, and work situations, where your actions can make a positive difference to others.

It occurs to me, that an area of your life where it might seem you have very little control, applies to when you are being cross-examined in the witness box.

Whilst placed in the box you are subjected to, being fired questions at by those cross-examining you, which can also include the judge.

You cannot ask any questions yourself, except a question in direct response to what has been asked of you, in order to assist you in answering it.

Your role may appear to be a passive one, due to the restrictions placed upon you whenever you enter the witness box.

But although there is much you can't do. You can still do a lot more than you think you can.

It's helpful here to consider, what exactly is in your sphere of control, when giving evidence?

Your thoughts, feelings or attitude are completely within your control, when in the box.

Now this might seem like a small, insignificant thing to you, but it is a matter of huge significance, to the way the evidence you give is evaluated.

The attitude you present before, during and after answering questions, makes a massive difference to your credibility as a witness.

How much more pleasant is it, to listen to someone who presents in a cheerful, congenial tone, than someone who presents as though they have been forced to, suffer sucking on a bitter lemon throughout their testimony?

Your willingness and ability to listen, is a key factor here, within your complete control, which is directly affected by your attitude, and so vital with regard to your ability to answer questions well.

Patience and your ability to discipline yourself, to listen to the entire question are two other crucial factors, that are within your sphere of influence.

Once you have heard the question, then your capacity to understand what is being asked of you, and to think through the best way to answer it, is also completely within your control.

The time you take to respond to questions posed to you, is one other matter that remains completely within your control. Often witnesses are worried about the length of time, it takes them to answer a question, and consequently rush to answer it, prior to taking the time to think their response through properly.

Here, you have to have the inner control and discipline to answer, only when you are completely ready.

Finally, it is completely down to you to discipline yourself to say precisely what you want to say and nothing else.

When you say too much due to your anxiety, and lack of control, you expose your vulnerability, and are likely to say things you have not thought through, or open up a 'can of worms' that was unnecessary,, and comes back to harm you as a result.

To sum up then, I hope you can see that there are at least 6 or 7 factors that are completely within your sphere of influence when giving evidence.

The vast majority of witnesses, are unconscious of matters that are within their control, and so fail to make use of them to provide credible evidence.

Now that you know, you're much more in control than you thought you were, what do you intend to do about it?