What’s the Worse That Can Happen?

When we contemplate this question, we may also then “what is within my control” or what is the most important task for me to do to address the problem? The language we use matters. What do we tell ourselves and what do we tell those around us by how we describe the world and our response to it? It is obvious that the words we use shape our world, yet so often we use language that limits us rather than unlock us.

The “worse thing” sets forth a negative, ready for fight or flight attitude. We tend to assess our abilities and resources and ready ourselves for a reaction. “What is in my control” establishes a more positive assessment, limiting ourselves to what we can control and dismissing other actions that might take away from a response. But what about, instead, asking crucial questions about how I got into this situation and what I will learn from it.

Words matter and can be very powerful in shaping how we view the world and react to it.

Have you ever heard of the concept of Critical Agreement? ?I was recently introduced to it in a podcast on leadership. You will not find it easily if you Google it. Basically, it is an agreement, prior to having a discussion, that there is a slight chance that your position may be wrong or incorrect in some way. Leaders start this process by stating their possible faults first and then asking others to add theirs.

This approach opens the mind to receive new ideas and to view old ones with renewed freshness. In other words, Critical Agreement frees you to look at what you are saying in new and, perhaps, more positive ways. The “worse thing” part of your agreement becomes somewhat more open to new opportunities and what you believe that you control may become different. Thus, the critical questions about how you got into the situation and what you might learn from it.

The technique was perfected by Abraham Lincoln because of his deep curiosity to what impassionate arguments others would present. As a result, he became a great listener, and even better leader. He would begin each discussion with his advisors stating first the areas where he might be wrong in his thinking about the situation, and then demanding that they do the same.

Abraham Lincoln’s leadership style is often described as?transformational?and?empathetic. Here are some key aspects:

• Visionary – Lincoln had a clear vision for the nation, especially in regard to the abolition of slavery
• Emotional Strength – understanding and managing his own emotions, as well as those of others.
• Embracing the Ideas of Others – he even included political rivals in his cabinet, believing in the importance of diverse opinions.
• Communication – he understood the power of words
• Empathy and Integrity – helped him to build trust and loyalty.

Lincoln’s leadership style has left a lasting impact and continues to be studied and admired for its effectiveness in navigating one of the most challenging periods in American history.

Words matter...choose yours carefully!