What’s Vulnerability got to do with Leadership?

Recently my mother and I reflected on the career choices she had made (complete role reversal I tell you!). My mother, a kind, diligent person – spent 40 years as a primary school teacher and refused any leadership position that came her way. She was deserving, a crowd favorite, a high performer, and a brilliant mentor to many young teachers – yet no leadership position. When I asked her about this choice, she said that a leadership position meant losing emotional connect with her colleagues. She felt that as a leader she would need to be authoritarian, transactional and that her ability to embrace emotions at work would be seen as a sign of weakness.

I thought about this notion of leadership – traditionally we have seen leaders as larger than life figures who make no mistakes, are highly knowledgeable and rarely express emotions at work. Back at business school we learnt the textbook version of various leadership styles, each having its own pros and cons and to be altered to the situation at hand. The challenge however has been to develop one’s own unique leadership style – one that is authentic and inspirational. Authenticity can help leaders drive deeper connect and build trust at work.

Leaders who want to be authentic, have to embrace vulnerability. Brené Brown, an American researcher and storyteller, defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Contrary to traditional notion, a person who is comfortable with vulnerability is a person of courage. Taking ownership of mistakes, asking for help, expressing doubts, sharing stories of personal failure, ?regularly checking in with colleagues on their personal situations (and sharing some of your own in turn!) are all instances of vulnerability – of forging strong emotional connect with colleagues and of building trust.

The pandemic along with the long work from home has made relationships a lot more transactional. Leaders have a far bigger responsibility to invest emotionally in people and build a sense of belonging. This will only be possible by being authentic and mustering the courage to be vulnerable! The big question that remains is how do we manage the discomfort that comes with vulnerability and are we willing to make that emotional investment?