What’s In It For Them?

??Week 1: What’s In It For Them? ??

A humble carpet cleaner shares how he became the most connected person in the world.

The secret to success in life and business is learning how to connect and form relationships with other people - and most people don't know how to do that.

“Networking” has come to mean shallow conversations, transactional relationships and the anxiety of impressing others.

Right fit people: ELF (Easy, lucrative, fun)

Wrong fit people: HALF (Hard, Annoying, Lame, Frustrating)

What's in it for them? Asking this question helps them figure out what they need.

Your job is to reduce or remove the challenges others face.

Selling is getting someone intellectually engaged in a future result that's good for them and getting an emotional commitment to take action to achieve that result.

3 different states when connecting: communicating, connecting, or trying to escape.

If you are truly communicating you're in an exchange of energy.

Connecting requires a balance of trust, rapport and comfort.

In order to have rapport you first develop comfort and trust. Comfort comes first.?

Comfort: a feeling of freedom and ease with you. Easily established by paying attention.

Trust: is comfort plus time.

How to assess others and connect.

Ask questions about them:

1. Mention a weakness before mentioning strengths
2. Body language - stand side on
3. Make a joke
4. Speak a little more slowly
5. Ask for a small favour early on
6. Validate people
7. Be honest about your own feelings and intentions

Every relationship is a collaborative connection -? allowing you to combine capabilities, concerns, communication, context, comprehension, compassion and caring.

Investing vs spending in relationships.? Spending and investing sound the same but it’s different.??

Spending: necessary cost, often unpleasant.?

Investing: long-term accumulating positive generative energy.

Before doing something ask yourself: does this grow the relationship?

Relationships have a built-in feedback mechanism called GROWTH.?

Cultivate positive growth and cull negative.

The difference between a return from a relationship and a return on a relationship. It's the difference between merely having high-quality people in your network and interacting with those people in a meaningful way.? You're looking for a return on genius.

12 Time Dangers:

1. ?Putting your desires at someone else's mercy
2. ?Overcommitment (realistic about resources)
3. ?Always saying yes
4. ?Lack of sleep
5. ?Poor nutrition
6. ?Disorganisation
7. ?Wrong environment
8. ?Leeches, parasites and fake friends
9. ?Money dangers
10. ?Not protecting money
11. ?Debt
12. ?Trying to impress others

3 invaluable qualities to maintaining networks and relationships:

1. ?Useful
2. ?Being grateful
3. ?Being valuable?

Treat people the way they want to be treated.

Tell someone what's right or working and how to enhance it.

The only way to get good at something is by finding out what doesn't work.

People go unappreciated because they give everything away for free to the wrong people.

Self-appreciation comes from learning to stop chasing other people's validation.

Beware of people who recognise your value and want to take it without giving back. Non-reciprocal, entitled, disrespectful.?

It doesn't matter if you know plenty of influential people or useful people if you're not actually doing things with them.

When it comes to delivering value, look for the quickest path to the value.

In social events and business mixes it's best to increase your speed of implementation.? Act swiftly with a sense of urgency.

I only invest in people who invest in me.

When connecting in person you should seek to understand others first, rather than seeking to be understood.

Summary: Very insightful book about how to genuinely build a world-class network. This only applies to people who are naturally abundant and like building relationships

1 Key Takeaway/Insight:? It doesn't matter if you know plenty of influential people or useful people if you're not actually doing things with them. I only invest in people who invest in me.

Rating: 9 out of 10 ??

Author: Joe Polish

Links to purchase: https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Them-Connection-Change-Network/dp/1401960103

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?? I’m Ronan Leonard

?? Business Relations enthusiast

Connecting ?? People ??Ideas ?? Opportunities

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