What’s so great about being a boss anyway?

This week’s question from an exasperated middle manager hit my in-box at about 500 words, because it took that much space for its author to describe the aggravation she’s currently experiencing. People don’t want to come into the office. No one can take tough feedback. Everyone wants a raise. Half the team is halfway out the door.?

“I worked for years for the prestige of managing people,” the message concluded. “I wish I’d stayed an individual contributor.”

Dear Reader: Managers everywhere feel your pain. A recent Gallup poll found that fully 50% of employees are unhappy, and they’re not keeping it to themselves. As one newspaper summarized the poll’s findings, “First it was ‘Quiet Quitting.’ Now Workers are Facing Off with Their Bosses.”

Time was, you became a manager because that’s what you had to do to get ahead. I recall a business school reunion some 20 years ago where we “casually” dropped how many people we managed into the conversation while munching canapés. I also recall nearly choking when one classmate mentioned she had 10,000 foot soldiers under her high command. I believe the medical name for my response was, “Shameful Jealousy Reflex.”

Look, I’ve managed a lot of people over the years. Through those experiences, I can tell you even in the best of times, managing is challenging, and by “challenging” I mean, it’s like getting stuffed in a washing machine on its spin cycle (cold water rinse!) while 60 people wait outside the door to talk to you about how unfair life is.

I can also tell you assuredly there is one good reason to be a boss, and one only.

You feel high — exultant, glorious, euphoric, even — when one of your employees succeeds. They land a client, say. Or discover a game-changing analysis. Or come up with a brand new solution to a formerly intractable problem. In other words, they nail it.?

If that experience gives you heart palpitations, sorry not sorry, you were meant to be a manager. Because good managers understand that their job is to bask in the reflected glory of their people, no more no less. All the other stuff you do – the begging and cajoling, the settling of disputes, the feedback-giving, the constant coaching, the listening to budget projections, the everything – it’s all in service of getting your team to a place where they are better collectively and as individuals.?

That’s what’s so good about being a boss: The joy of seeing other people soar.

Trust me, that feeling is its own reward.

If you are in this category, my advice would be to tough out the hard parts right now. Unstable situations almost always right themselves. People change. Policies change. Circumstances change. A new normal emerges.

If not, no judgment. Seriously. I myself have been that person at times in my career, but at other times, have not had the emotional capacity to be. And frankly, business would be lost without individual contributors, and most organizations now have honest-to-goodness career tracks for them. Exhale and return to your old happy place. I am betting your boss, if they’re a good boss, will understand.?