What's In A Smile?
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When a new born baby first learns how to focus their eyesight and they see you with an wonderful, enthusiastic smile on your face; you are sending out an extremely significant message to your baby - probably far more significant than you ever realise.
Your smile says, welcome, I am genuinely so pleased meet you. It says welcome to the world, and signifies to your baby that they are in a lovely, welcoming and safe world.
It's important to bear in mind that as parents you represent their world, and your actions, demeanour and behaviours demonstrate, what they can learn to expect from the environment they are exposed to throughout their childhood.
Being predictable in terms of the way you behave towards your baby, and smiling at them often, is good for them and good for you too.
Your smile shows that you are interested in them, excited about knowing everything about your newborn, and taking the best care of therm possible.
It conveys an important message - namely that you are trustworthy, and that they can trust you with their life. Which is exactly what babies and children do, they trust you totally and have absolute faith in you.
However the most priceless message your smile sends out is that you love them.
This message is one that is worth its weight in gold for your child.
Knowing that you are loved, is a super positive message that stays with you throughout your entire life. It's equivalent to being provided with an invisible talisman inside of you, that acts to protect you from all forms of harm.
Children who do not feel loved, are it seems, inevitably doomed to bear a heavy burden, that rests uncomfortably on their shoulder, throughout their entire life, because no one wants to feel unloved.
When you beam a smile at your baby you are, in effect, teaching them how they in turn, will learn to express their love to others. As you cannot really give to others that which you do not have; you pass on this extra special gift, when you yourself, have had the great pleasure of experiencing it.
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What else does your baby get from your smile?
A broad happy smile is like sunshine, in that it radiates warmth and care, and when your baby realises you are smiling at them, it means that they are visible, and it conveys the valuable message that they are worthy of your time, attention, effort and affection - it sends an incredibly important message concerning your child's self esteem, and begins the process of them recognising their personal value and self worth.
To smile at your child implicitly sends the message that, not only do you love them, but that you are proud of them. It sets a standard that your child learns to want to live up to and maintain.
It is not easy to fully describe all the aspects, ingredients and implications that comprise and are contained in a smile, but essentially it displays not just a greeting, but a warm embrace that wraps invisible arms around your child, and continues to hold them long after the event has passed.
The memory of your smile lives on in the heart and mind of your child, providing them not only with a vital sense of acceptance and belonging, that all children need; but it also begins to foster the seeds of resilience, that are so essential for healthy development and wellbeing.
The beaming smile you give to your baby sets in motion the development of a healthy attachment. When you smile enthusiastically and display exuberance in connection with seeing them, they learn to mirror this same enthusiasm and they feel it towards you.
The more excited you are to see them, the more they will respond in kind towards you. This is the case whether you are their parent or not. Someone else's child who receives this excited response from you on a regular basis, can form a greater attachment to you than their own parents, who fail to show this same level of exuberance.
This for me is a clear indication of the power of a smile. It can literally mean the difference between life and death - in that children who do not experience this sense of loving acceptance and belonging, are much more prone to ill health, depression and suicidal ideation, as they grow and develop.
Smiling at your child produces, or gives rise to an attracting quality that evokes positive feelings of warmth inside you and inside your child. This warm feeling acts to insulate them from harm, helps them develop resilience and provides them with an invaluable reason to feel good about themselves, throughout their entire life.