What’s the Rock in Your Shoe?

Have you noticed people's spirits have just wilted or sagged a bit lately?

Around this time, at least here in south Louisiana, aka the sun's next-door neighbor, we are trudging through the dog days of summer.

Even though it still feels like summer, maybe it's time for a team re-boot and refresh to get the morale going again. Can you say late Q4 team retreat or teambuilding program?

Maybe you've been talking budget lately with your team. How will you invest in continuous improvement in 2024? If you'd like a guide on the side to help with that, hit reply to this email and tell me a bit about your situation and we'll get a discovery call scheduled.

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Maybe you're seeing your team wilt and sag lately because they’re carrying around a pesky pebble. Read on for this month's article, where I’m sharing a few things that weigh us down and rub us the wrong way (with some strategies to get rid of them!)

If you have any questions about this stuff, my inbox is ALWAYS open!

Until next time, remember to live and lead by choice, not by chance.

PS… If you're a woman in mid-career-or beyond (or know someone who is), you'll want to check out my upcoming free program, Clarity, Conversations, and Connections, on September 27th, where we'll gather to chat about how we can all be more purposeful and intentional in this age, stage, and season of life. Click here for details and to register. (Of course, feel free to forward this newsletter to a woman in your world who may want to join us.)

What's the Rock in Your Shoe?

Whenever we plan a vacation, my hubs and I always make sure to bake in lots of opportunities to be active. I guess that's based in good part on the fact that we want to make up for all the good food and wine we'll be indulging in, but I digress.

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As you can imagine, we don't have many (make that any) mountains in south Louisiana, so any opps for hiking in the hills, mountains, or anything other than swamps has got our attention.

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Last year we had a family wedding in Arkansas, and so naturally, we made time for some hiking in the Ozarks. On one of those hikes, my husband was in the lead and I got a rock in my hiking boot. (How that happened, I'll never know.) Anyway, it was annoying, aggravating, and ultimately painful, and yet, I didn't say anything until we got back to the base of the trail.

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Why did I allow that tiny tormentor to stow away in my shoe? Why didn't I hit the pause button to remove it before it caused a blister?

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I've been thinking about how we often put up with - or worse - intentionally lug along with us - troublemakers that weigh us down and wear us out.

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What's the rock in your shoe? That metaphorical rock can teach us a thing or two about lightening the load in life and leadership.

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Is your rock the weight of past mistakes, regrets, and missed opportunities? These emotional rocks can burden our minds, leaving us unable to really be in the present moment. When my kids played sports I remember the coach would urge them to move on from the ball they didn't hit or the shot they didn't make. Leadership, too, can be hindered by clinging to past strategies or decisions that didn't lead to the results you wanted. Just like the rock in your shoe, these moments can slow your roll.

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In other news, I'm learning a new skill: machine embroidery and applique'. It's a leetle challenging, but oh so rewarding to hold a finished creation in my hands... or better yet, to see one of my grandchildren wearing an outfit that I embroidered. I sent a picture of my latest project to a friend and texted this message: "It's not perfect and I made mistakes. But at least I didn't make the same mistakes as last time!"

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To move forward, you've got to acknowledge these stones of the past, learn from them, and then let them go. Beating up on yourself serves no one. While I coach and talk about this need for self-reflection a lot, I also need to be reminded to do the same by my coach. And that's because we're all human.

Is your rock the burden of perfectionism, unnecessary expectations, and personal insecurities? (Insert hand raised emoji here - Guilty as charged.) This expectation to please everyone can be like pebbles accumulating in our emotional shoes. As leaders, the weight of external - and internal - expectations can stifle creativity and hinder authentic decision-making.

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Nowhere is it written that leaders have to be perfect. Puhleeze for the love of all that's holy, let go of that notion and allow yourself to do something imperfectly. Make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward.

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Is your rock the heaviness of trying to change someone else? Believe me when I tell you that this rock will wear you out. Sure, I know your heart is in the right place and you just want to help them, but you can't force someone to change if they don't want to change.

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It. Is. Exhausting.

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As a leader, you can and should work to influence behavior through guiding or shaping specific actions or decisions. But thinking that you are fundamentally going to change ANYone when they have no desire to change is, honestly, delusional.

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Is your rock the strain of burn out? As the old saying goes, "You can't pour from an empty cup." A shoe filled with rocks can remind us of the importance of self-care and well-being. In both life and leadership, we can't effectively guide others if we're weighed down by stress, burnout, or neglecting our own needs.

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I'm hearing more and more stories of people giving until the giving hurts and they end up with a serious health condition. Recognize when it's time to put down the burdens you've been carrying and take care of your well-being.

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So, how can we go about removing these metaphorical rocks from our shoes?

• Pay attention to your mental chatter. Is it reminding you of every misstep you ever made? Kick those self-sabotaging thoughts to the curb.
• Decluttering isn't just for your closet; it's for your mental space too. Write down what's weighing you down and visualize yourself tossing it into the metaphorical garbage can.
• Limit and/or manage your contact with people who consistently irritate you and cause blisters. (Can I get an AMEN to that?)
• Seek support from coaches, mentors, or friends who can provide a fresh perspective on your challenges and help you navigate the process of letting go.

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Remember, like my hike, life is a journey that's meant to be enjoyed and shared. Leadership is about inspiring and guiding others towards a common vision. By shedding the rocks that no longer serve us, we make space for growth, clarity, and authentic connections. And scenic views. Don't forget to pause and take in the scenic views.

And if you'd like a guide on the side to help re-energize you or your team, let's talk! Go to JenniferLedet.com and schedule your complimentary discovery call with me today.

Jennifer Ledet, CSP, is a leadership consultant and professional speaker (with a hint of Cajun flavor) who equips leaders from the boardroom to the mailroom to improve employee engagement, teamwork, and communication.? In her customized programs, leadership retreats, keynote presentations, and breakout sessions, she guides leaders to live and lead by choice, not chance.