What's the point of Paternity Leave? Why you and your company should want Dads to take Paternity Leave…

...and why YOU should maximise your Paternity Leave.

With my third child, Leia, having just arrived a few days ago, I started reflecting about how lucky I was with each of my children to have been working in companies that gave great paternity leave and flexibility to Dads.

My current company, BrioHR gives unlimited paid annual leave so I don’t need to worry about anything this time :)

Historically, Dads have never needed to think too much about paternity leave. You drive your wife to the hospital...then drive her and the baby home. That was about all you had to do. Taking time off to look after the baby was for Mums. Times have changed now and long Paternity Leave is becoming more and more common.

But there still exists a double standard. I take paternity leave and change nappies, take my share of late night feeds etc etc and everyone congratulates me on being such a good Dad. Mum does exactly the same thing but everyone just thinks she is doing her job!

It made me realise that I have been lucky to work at great companies and wrongly assumed it is ‘normal’ to get the Paternity Benefits I received. Not everyone is so lucky and many more still believe it is unnecessary. Many people still don't see the need for Dad to play an equal role in childcare.

I clearly remember when I came home from hospital with my first child Jamie. My life was never the same again. The main things that change are less sleep and more cleaning...A LOT MORE CLEANING, sanitizing bottles, so many dirty onesies and wiping baby bums! It doesn't seem possible to me that one parent can do everything alone. 

Raising a child, especially your first child is a crazy, stressful experience. For a new mum, it can be a massive shock to the system. On top of the physical stress and post natal recovery, mums are suddenly isolated from the social and work circles they had before they gave birth. Paternity Leave gives Dad the opportunity to take over as a primary caregiver and give Mum a break to recover and adjust.

Looking after a baby doesn't have to be the responsibility of both parents. However, It could be said that it is critically important in families where both parents work, that both parents play an equal parenting role. Paternity Leave allows Mum and Dad to start parenting equally, and set a good foundation for it to stay equal once they return to work. It helps families to bond faster with some studies showing that in families where the Dad takes paid paternity leave, relationships between Mum and Dad are better, more stable and last longer with a reduced chance of separating.

From my own experience, with a wife who has very different hobbies and enjoys different activities to me, the opportunity to learn a new skill (the skill of parenting) together, and practice it together is very rewarding.

When I was at hospital for one of the regular checkups when my wife was pregnant with our second child Mia, I remember reading one of the posters on the wall. It said that Mums whose partners DID NOT take paternity leave were more likely to report feeling ill and suffer from postnatal depression.

One of the side effects of Dad sharing more responsibilities with Mum is that Mum can go back to work, happier, healthier, and with the knowledge that Mum and Dad are in it together. Some studies have shown that there is a link between the length of Dad’s Paternity Leave and the rate at which Mum's salary goes up over time.

There are all kinds of benefits from the skin-to-skin contact and other physical interactions between baby and  Dad. Activities that strengthen the bond between Dad and baby leave the baby emotionally and physically healthier.

Most of the baby books I read leading up to the birth of my my first child seemed to agree that children who spent more quality time with their Dads in their first year had improved cognitive abilities and are less likely to have development problems. Not only does this help them become more social as they grow up, but can also improve their performance in school and strengthen their relationship with Dad.

For many Dads, holding their first child for the first time could be the first time they ever held a baby. Many men who did not grow up in large families simply have no experience with kids of any age. Throwing yourself into parenthood and all the duties and responsibilities that go with it will of course build your confidence as a parent but the experience can also make you more confident in your life in general. The constant problem solving, seeing your activities contribute to the growth of the baby, the teaching, the learning, and so on. It's confidence building. How many people do you know who seem to become ‘better people’ after becoming parents? 

One of my Baby books (I hated reading them, but I'm glad I did), talked about the health benefits to the father of taking on more parenting responsibilities including taking longer Paternity Leave with lower risks of alcohol, drug related illness or death, reduced risk of depression, and even reducing early death. Imagine the impact this has on the amount of sick leaves taken.

It is normal for career Dads (and Mums) to feel conflicted about meeting the high demands of career and family. Many companies have not caught up to the ‘New Norm’ of a Dads role in parenting and many men worry that taking long Paternity Leave can hurt their careers. 

Actually the opposite is true. Men who play a more equal role in parenting, including taking Paternity Leave, report higher levels of satisfaction and success in their careers.

This will obviously benefit their company too. Happy employees are good employees, and more often than not, they are more engaged and productive, This can have a knock on effect to the colleagues and team around them. In Malaysia where I live, companies have reported that paid Paternity Leave has a positive effect on productivity and performance

Having spent the last 10 years interviewing thousands of candidates, I always ask them about what are the cultural aspects that made them leave companies in the past and attract them to new companies? Amongst family men, flexibility for Paternity Leave and flexibility to to be a good Dad to their existing children always ranks very highly. This is backed up by research I’ve seen published on Linkedin about loyalty and the effect that Paternity Leave (and good maternity leave) has on employee retention, which in turn saves resources that need to be spent on recruitment. I also vaguely recall seeing an infographic last year that said more than 50% of Dads would actually change jobs for the sole reason of getting more time to spend with their kids! WOW!

I believe that a supportive workplace is key to success when trying to implement a company culture that benefits the families of their employees. Whether this is Paternity benefits/ Maternity benefits, or even things like paid leave to care for elderly relatives. 

It can not be done by management or HR alone. Employees need to believe in it too.

A cultural shift is happening. More and more companies are seeing the importance of family related benefits, but importantly, that these benefits have a positive impact on the company and their bottom line, not just on the family.

Whether you are an employee, HR Manager, or a leader, there are things you can do to support and encourage the adoption of more Paternity benefits:

• If you have paternity benefits already, make sure you use them
• Be a role model for other Dads who work and ‘Dad’ 
• Showcase role models, especially if they are 
• Support other men who take paternity leave
• Encourage your colleagues and direct reports to use their paternity benefits
• Make sure they know that there won’t be negative consequences to taking paternity leave
• Advocate for men and women equitable parental benefits
• Encourage a culture that supports men who take Paternity Leave

BrioHR gives unlimited paid leave. There are a few rules but essentially, as long as your job is done you can take as much leave as you want, for whatever reason you want.

This system relies on employees being honest, but also on employees being empathetic, understanding, and helping their colleagues.

Although Annual Leave is unlimited, we do like to track the reasons why people take leave. In the long term, when combined with our Performance Management system, we can track the effect on performance of many different leave types and reasons. This allows us to optimise our work / life philosophy even more.

If you would like to try our Leave Tracking module (you don’t need to have unlimited annual leave) you can drop me a message at [email protected] 

BrioHR uses flexible leaves policies to reflect your company’s practices. We have made it adjustable at country / office / employee levels, and more.

Super easy to configure carry forward, seniority leaves increments, and all aspects of your leave policies! Just push the switches.

HR has a full overview on leave status, can extract leaves balances and usage reports, and even perform actions on behalf of Managers to avoid bottlenecks!

Directly integrated with Payroll and Timesheets so you never need double entries nor will forget to update anything again!

Employees and Managers can check their available balance, apply leave, and approve leaves from their mobile phone.

Follow BrioHR on Linkedin or check out the BrioHR Website to see all our features and modules or you can check out this short video:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!