What's A Parent To Do? - Day One

I know I am not alone and that is why I am writing this. 

Beginning tomorrow, my two teenagers are not to report to their high school for in-person classes. On Friday, our Northern Virginia public school system announced that it would be closed “until further notice.” The schools are currently planning to close for about a month, which is April 13.  

But yesterday, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued guidance that closing schools for eight weeks or more may have a greater impact on mitigating the spread of the Novel Coronavirus than two- to four-week closures.

Regardless, I am anticipating an extended period with the kids at home trying to finish their junior and senior years, while having to keep working. Assuming that many other parents are in the same situation of needing to help support their teenage children’s academic progress and success, I thought I would share my research and preparation.

 During this period of uncertainty, I am fully embracing Ray Dalio’s observation of the “power of not knowing how.” I am not an educator and I am not a subject matter expert in my kid’s classes (and they have been long observant enough to know that). Also, I have work to do.  I don’t have a lot of time to spend on Facebook message boards. So, I am actively seeking out expert guidance (and will share it!).

I am deeply grateful that our school still retain responsibility for my children’s education. Our teachers and the schools’ administrative leadership have a tough job under normal circumstances.  I appreciate them even more now.  And I want to be a supportive partner.

I see my job over the next period of time to help my kids’ meet their teachers’ expectations and help the teachers by keeping my kids appropriately focused. So while educators are generally acting “in loco parentis.” In this case, I have the mindset that I am acting “in loco praeceptor.”

Fortunately, our school system is sending a daily update electronically mid-day and there will be a webinar at 3 p.m. every day to answer questions from families. If our school was not doing so, the first thing I would do as a parent would be to demand that they do so.  I am planning to use this information as a foundation for communication with my children as a blatant “appeal to authority” (or “argumentum ad verecundiam” for those who are appreciating my Latin origin references)

Beyond the school, I will be looking to long-experienced home schoolers and academic research of home schooling. The U.S. Department of Education estimates, as reported by Education Week, that about 3.3 percent of the country’s school-aged children, or approximately 2 million students, are home schooled. So there are probably some really great lessons to be mined from these sources. In particular I am looking to forward to exploring the work of the National Home Education Research Institute.

Several journalists have had a similar idea and here are links to some of their articles:

• Terri Peters, “Teaching kids at home due to coronavirus? Homeschooling moms share their tips.” (March 13, 2020 Today.com)
• Nir Eyal, Home-Schooling Tweens and Teens During Coronavirus Closings: Advice from experts and home-schoolers on what do with your children if their schools are closed. (March 12, 2020 New York Times)
• Emma Francois, Kids Out of School Amid Covid-19 Crisis? This Homeschool Mom Has Some Advice (March 13, 2020 Washingtonian.com)

For me, the most important takeaway from these articles and the sources they cite, is that it is important to establish some kind of daily schedule with one’s children. This is going to be a bit tricky because my kids are well on their paths to independence and their teachers’ expectations are not yet clear.  But I have internalized the importance of this effort. 

The advice also highlights the importance of not panicking and trying to have fun.  I think this is especially true with teenagers at home, who, in addition to the academic pressures, are now dealing with: the separation from their friends, the suspension of every-day activities that they enjoy or the support they need, spring break plans being disrupted, and the often-stressful process of making some major life-decisions (e.g. post high school plans). And of course, there may be some very real illness, with which we will have to cope. I have to figure out appropriate ways to communicate that I recognize the pressure they are under and work to keep disharmony and anxiety to a minimum.

But this is also an opportunity to help them think about the wider-world around them and their connection to it. And I think it is useful to see this time as a chance to help my kids learn some important life skills and to create additional positive family memories; I am conscious that they will not be home forever.   

More to come.  We are in this together.