What's one of the Biggest Challenges with Performance Management?

The answer may surprise you. Sixty-three percent of executives surveyed said their biggest challenge was managers' lack of courage to have difficult feedback discussions, according to Douglas Stone in his book "Thanks for the Feedback."

Why? There are likely several reasons. Managers don't know HOW-- and its not easy. It requires them, first and foremost, to know themselves-- to be self-aware. That means knowing their own triggers, feas, and motivators. Sadly in my 30+ years of consulting, I rarely encounter people who love giving and receiving feedback at work. Poorly delivered feedback has drastic consequences:

• 22% of employees call in sick rather than face a performance review
• 35% have complained to their peers, and 15% have even cried. (Impraise )??
• In 25% of cases, employees quit?their job?due to a lack of acknowledgment (Clearcompany , 2017)?
• 30% of workers are so?discouraged?by?negative feedback?that they actively seek new employment. (SHRM , 2020)?

It's no surprise that companies are looking to revamp the performance review, moving away from annual or semi-annual reviews to a "continuous feedback" approach, which is great. BUT at day's end, the manager STILL needs to know how to determine what feedback to give, when, why (yes, 'why') and how.

One reason feedback training courses fall flat is because many fail to consider the giver's personality, style, level of emotional intelligence and self-awareness. While the receiver is also responsible for absorbing feedback, it's the giver's job to present it in a way that makes it palatable. That means when there is a relationship of trust and professional respect, the feedback conversation will flow with greater ease. How does one build that trust? Here are a few important elements:

1. Demonstrate empathy (No one WANTS to underperform, so be empathetic to the employee's discomfort.
2. Be vulnerable. Open yourself up to upward feedback and listen with openness and curiosity.
3. Role model how to give and receive feedback.
4. Remind your employee that you both want the same thing.
5. Be aware of your own triggers, fears and "mental models".
6. Work with and support your employee in developing an approach to address the issue. Encourage him/her by highlighting the strengths they contribute and help them learn to better leverage those strengths.

Furthermore, consider the employee's experience with you up until the actual appraisal. Were they aware in real time of their shortcomings or did the feedback come as a surprise? If so, that's on you. When you learn to give "in the moment coaching" and continuous feedback, the annual review becomes simply, well... a review! And that's just as it should be.

The next time a feedback session fails to go as planned, stop pointing a finger at the employee and look at yourself first. Most likely, you'll recognize ways in which you contributed. If so, reach out. In my modular course called "The Boomerang Effect" based on 30 years of experience as a management consultant, I combine online learning modules with private 1:1 coaching sessions. The Boomerang Effect Program teaches managers how to overcome the typical pitfalls that make giving and receiving not only uncomfortable, but unproductive.

Meanwhile, be aware of the frequency and nature of the feedback YOU give-- both constructive AND positive!