What’s next?

Welcome to Swag-HER!: Your Career, Your Way, a newsletter for professional women and their allies! We’ll explore how to break through the barriers to your success, making space for the career - and life -? you want.?

I’m so glad you’re here. If this is our first time meeting, you can learn more about me and the work I do here. Make sure you never miss an issue by clicking the "Subscribe" button in the upper right corner of the page!

The results of last week’s presidential election have left many of us wondering what happens next. In person and virtually, the reactions are a world apart, from the extreme heights of celebration to the depths of fear and despair. I’ve heard extremes like some women planning to avoid relationships with men for four years, as well as a surge in threatening content towards women and people of color from bad actors. Most of all, many are waking up to a country they don’t recognize, feeling they must defend their voting decisions. Most anticipate uncomfortable interactions, with those on both sides thinking the other is wrong, uninformed, or against them. But the reality is that this election had many layers of complexity to it.?

So what do we do now? What’s next?

Robert Frost wrote that “the best way out is always through,” but as often as it’s quoted, people miss what comes after it: “And I agree to that, or in so far as that I can see no way out but through.” And that is really the crux, isn’t it? There is no other option; we must go through. It feels so challenging, especially right now, but in order to create a new and better future, we will have to actively pull ourselves into it.?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what this might take, and I want to share those with you today. I would love to hear your (civil, please) thoughts in the comments as well!?

Connection and community

As difficult as the last week has been for many, I’ve been able to find some bright spots of sunlight among the clouds. Among them has been the connection (and sometimes re-connection) that I’ve experienced, and that friends and colleagues have shared with me. Perhaps you’ve seen it too. Far and near, we are reaching out to each other, checking in to see how we are doing post-election. I’ve loved reconnecting with important people that I’ve sadly been out of touch with, and I found myself in awe of the collective that surrounded my texts, emails, and social media. There is a collective grieving and reckoning of our differences. We are searching, fearing, hypothesizing on what’s to come with both friends and strangers. For better or worse, it’s a community — an important reminder of how essential relationships truly are for our growth, our well-being, and our sanity.??

We are a few weeks away from the ultimate community table, Thanksgiving. Some of us will bravely brace ourselves for a relative’s tone-deaf comment, or seeking to understand and be understood as we break bread. Perhaps a moratorium on politics can allow the bonds to stay intact. For some it may not. With isolation increasing, let’s leverage Thanksgiving to open our minds and tables to others —?whether it’s with family or chosen family — like in this great ad from a Canadian company.?

If a bridge can be built, even a shaky one, we have a much better chance of finding common ground and creating solutions that reflect what the American people want.??

Commitment?and Courage?

The Kellogg Global Women’s Summit is still on my mind. I had the chance to learn from so many inspiring leaders, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what TIAA CEO Thasunda Brown Duckett —an absolute powerhouse—said about creating the future we want to see. Particularly powerful was her point that “Prices have been paid for us to sit in this type of hard.” What we have now is only possible because the women before us did the hard work. We must do the same to uplift future generations. To quote her again, “Opting out [to avoid discomfort] is not an option for our making progress.” What new plays can we create for our new reality? What will we do differently??

We stand on the shoulders of so many great women and men that came before us. We’ve continued their work, and there is still much more to do. But we were built for this. We can (and will) do hard things. Throughout history, women have been underestimated, misunderstood, held to a different standard, ignored, spotlighted, and so much more. And despite all that, we’ve persisted.

Curiosity and Care

One of the biggest lessons I teach in my leadership course is the power of listening with curiosity. When we approach others with curiosity, we open our minds, we learn more, and most importantly, it takes us out of judgment. I take my students through a listening exercise, challenging them to listen for a specific theme like values or facts. I advise my students to think through their intentions first, especially when going into difficult conversations or challenging meetings. By going in with a curious mindset, they’re able to keep their negative emotions on the back burner, making it easier to really listen and learn. It doesn’t mean we ignore real issues, but it can be a tool to see and hear things we weren’t aware of, creating a bridge to understanding. Many students have told me how much it has improved their relationships, and that it creates better alignment and what will happen going forward.?

Before we can roll up our sleeves to understand, build bridges and create a new future, we need to be well. Right now, you might not be, and that’s okay. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. It’s okay to not be okay. Give yourself space and grace to wallow, grieve, go to therapy, sleep late, and be with those you love. Get curious about what you will learn from this time. Maybe it is time for a digital diet, joining a community of like or opposite minded people, Hallmark holiday movie fest or binge-watching comedies. Then, let go of what was not to be, so we can go create the world we want—together.

Calling all women leaders and allies! Join me December 10, 2024 in Houston, TX for a special event! I’ll be teaching a one-day course for Rice University’s Executive Women in Leadership — and I want YOU to be there. This is a fantastic opportunity to dig deep, meet other leaders, and to learn how to break through your mirrored door. Click here to learn more!

I’m so grateful for your readership and support of my work. I hope you’ll share Swag-HER with the women in your life! Make sure you never miss an issue by clicking “Subscribe” in the upper right-hand corner.?

I celebrated The Mirrored Door’s first birthday on October 10, 2024! Writing this book has changed my life. It has given me the opportunity to help other women step through the mirrored door and has connected me with so many incredible individuals. If this book has meant something to you, I would appreciate you leaving a review on Amazon. It will help others discover the book and spread its message. Can you help??

Haven’t read it yet? Click here to get your copy of The Mirrored Door: Break Through the Hidden Barrier that Locks Successful Women in Place! Winner of the 2023 NYC Big Book award, it's the perfect gift for the professional woman in your life.?