What's in a name?

Background: The self-help section of any big book store used to have a book or two on "what to name your baby girl/boy?.?In our time, we all must have lavished attention on that very question, hoping to condense in the name(s) of our offspring, cultural heritage,?devotion to deities or ancestors, literary tastes, cosmopolitan savvy or commitment to tradition, hopes for the child's success, etc.?So much is vested in a name!

In the old country, some of these criteria have more weight than others.?Sometimes, strong beliefs (dismissed as superstitions by the uncaring) dictate the name.?Take, for instance, the name of the Google Chief and IIT KGP alum, Sundar Pitchai.?Now, I don't know him personally, and I don't know how that name Pitchai came about in his (or his father's?) specific case.?But in the general case,?I know that names like Pitchai or Kuppu (alms and trash, respectively, if I'm not mistaken) were bestowed on babies born after one or more of the preceding babies in that family had died.?The humble hope of the wary parents was that, with the deliberate choice of an off-putting name (or a conspicuous mutilation like ear/nose piercing), the baby will no longer be attractive to demons of illness and angels of death.?(In my own case, an elder brother had died before I was born. My parents chose a deity's name for me, but had my ears pierced. If one more elder sibling had died, instead of Srinivasan I might have been Kuppuswamy!)?Names or actions meant to ward off evil are, to use a fancy word, apotropaic. (Another example of an apotropaic name, from a different culture, is the Russian name Medvedev Медве?дев ; that means, literally "honey eater" and figuratively, "bear." In Slavic belief, naming a bear directly is bad luck; a bear may appear!)

That is a rare example from (South) India, but there are similar icebergs of considerations under most Indian names; just ask the old folks or consult the family lore.?Unless one is learned in Sanskrit or Persian, the meanings of most Hindu or Muslim names are not common knowledge, or known even to their bearers.?More so with Judeo-Christian or Greek names.?(For example, David in Hebrew means beloved.?Philip in Greek -- parse it; phil hip -- means "he who loves horses!)"?In most cases, however, if there's a choice, names are chosen for the sound of the name; sonorous or majestic; rather than the meaning.?It's subjective, but Sagittarius sure sounds more impressive than Sal.?Movie stars are hence known to change their names early on to reach a wider audience.?The name "John Wayne" suits the macho image of that star more than the name he was christened with: Marion!?Michael Caine sounds more heroic than Maurice Micklewhite.?And so on.?(Note that I have played it safe by not citing the names, in Bollywood or Hollywood, that actors from religious minorities assume in order to blend in with the viewers of the majority religion.)?In other cultures in contrast, names are chosen mostly for the meanings.?I know a Chinese woman from S. E. Asia whose name means "Good and kind."?Knowing her, I will gladly confirm the first part but vehemently deny the second!?Another one, from China, goes by merrily with "Morning Pretty."?What happens when evening comes around, I wonder!?(Actually I don't have?to wonder.?I know; she is also "Evening Pretty!"?That reminds me of a toast proposed at a large?gathering in the 1976 Australian movie Caddie:?"This is to our wives and sweethearts.?May the twain never meet!"?Where was I?) Perhaps names are better off being opaque and mysterious instead of transparent and trivial.?(Arguably, no culture digs as deep into names of numbers, objects, and people as the Japanese.)

Switching suddenly from people to cats (yes, cats!), the American-British poet T.S. Eliot (who incidentally had studied the Upanishads) wrote a poem on " The Naming of Cats," which is worth quoting in full.

“The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,

????It isn’t just one of your holiday games;

You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter

When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,

????Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James,

Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—

????All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,

????Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:

Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—

????But all of them sensible everyday names,

But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,

????A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,

Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,

????Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,

????Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,

Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum—

????Names that never belong to more than one cat.

But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,

????And that is the name that you never will guess;

The name that no human research can discover—

????But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation,

????The reason, I tell you, is always the same:

His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation

????Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:

?????????His ineffable effable

?????????Effanineffable

Deep and inscrutable singular name.”

Marketing mavens know all this all too well, and prize brand names that sell.?Marcom is an ocean that will take us too long to navigate here, but just one example: A fish originally known in Australia as "Slimehead" is sold in America as "Orange Roughy."?In closing, the belief in the predictive power of names is captured by the Roman (Latin) phrase: Nomen est omen.?Or, the name is fate.?And we gather that the phonetics of the name are just as important as the meaning.?

Pitch: Focusing on phonetics, one sound in particular is far reaching in the American context: the K sound.?Just think of the relief it provides when it closes that swear word in WTF!?That "plosive" sound has a broader reach than in expletives.?Fans, voters, power, and riches flock and flow, amidst equally qualified candidates, to the one whose name has a K sound (that can be simulated also by Q or C).?Just look at the presidential tickets of either party in the last few decades: George Bush -- DicK Cheney; Cilnton; Barack Obama; Donald Trump -- MiKe Pence; Joe Biden -- Kamala Harris. If the name at the top doesn't have this talismanic sound, the party insiders make sure that the VP candidate's name comes to the rescue!?Doesn't guarantee winning, but we are just talking about a winning strategy.?If not K, the T-sound comes close in effect.?Seen the Steve McQueen movie "Bullitt? Long or unique names are also serviceable in this regard.?But K wins.?Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton . . . An uncanny coincidence, in no way connected with peoples' names, but nevertheless interesting in the present context: The five things all Sikhs should wear all start with K: Kesh (uncut hair), Kangha (a wooden comb), Kara (a iron bracelet), Kachera (cotton underpants) and Kirpan (an iron dagger)!

Among my classmates, Jagdish now in the US, styles himself as JacK.?FranK down under chuckles powerfully.?Some cats are in the know! I rest my case.?And the fellow named KK can write his own ticket if he relocates to the States.?A suggestion to KK: Publish a book first: "I am KK you are OK," to boost your chances with an extra K!

P.S.?If proper names have such awesome power, so do nicknames.?Like the fierce tattoos the Maori warriors put on to cover themselves with courage and invincibility, (American) gangsters sought and got tough-guy nicknames.?Going away from criminal gangs and into college cliques, a cool nickname marks you as one of the gang.?Then there are demeaning nicknames, slapped on hapless outsiders by bullies.?Just ask former senators Rick Santorum or Hillary Clinton!?I guess, like sex, nicknames are all right between the consenting, but unsavory sans consent.??