What's In A Name?
I bet that many of you read the title of this article and, in your mind, automatically…
...completed the famous line from the classic love story, Romeo and Juliet…
…”a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
…And despite the fact that Romeo was from her family’s rival house...
…their love was so strong that the importance of a name didn’t occur to them.
The topic of this article is the third principle from section two of…
…How to Win Friends & Influence People.
Principle 3: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
When business magnet Andrew Carnegie was a small boy in Scotland…
…he was somehow able to get ownership of a mother rabbit…
…and before he knew it, he had a slew of little bunnies that he couldn’t afford to feed.
True to the reputation he developed in later life, Andrew had a brilliant idea!
He recruited kids in his neighbourhood to pick bunches of clover and dandelions…
…so his rabbits would be fed.
How did he get them to do it?
He told each kid that he’d name one of the bunnies in their honour!
It worked like magic and he never forgot the lesson of the rabbits…
…and using that same psychology in business earned him millions years later.
How often have you been at a social gathering….
…a networking event, a workshop, something sports-related, or any group setting…
…and you’re speaking with someone you've just met, and you can't recall their name?
Fingers crossed they have a card so you can remember the name you forgot!
Can you relate?
Or, maybe you’ve been the one whose name was forgotten...
…and you gracefully dismissed it even though you felt unimportant.
Either way, it puts someone out, but to be fair…
I think it happens to most of us at one time or another.
When I consider the possible reasons for this…
…I have to be completely and flat out honest…
…zero sugar coating…
…no excuses whatsoever will cut the mustard…
…it’s PURE LAZINESS!!!
We don't see the importance or relevance to building relationships so we just accept it.
Some people make jokes about it - like aging and getting forgetful.
But that's just a cop out because anyone can learn a skill.
If you set an intention to learn how to remember people’s names, you can do it!
There are tips and tricks you can learn, or even take a workshop on the subject.
I definitely lacked this skill but now have a process that works well for me.
- I say the person’s name three times during the initial conversation.
- I look for something distinctive in their features or style.
- I write their first name and a note of the distinction on a piece of paper.
- I review my note that evening before bed and first thing in the morning.
This gives me an auditory and visual imprint, making it easier to remember the name…
…and connect the person to the face, committing it to memory.
And here’s why it’s worth the effort to develop this skill…
I had a personal experience with one of my former coaching clients…
…that I will remember for the rest of my life.
Lenny was a senior manager in a financial services firm…
…he’d immigrated to Canada from a Spanish-speaking country several years earlier.
I’d been working with Lenny for a couple of months.
It was in the summer of 2012…
I walked into Lenny’s office for our scheduled coaching session.
He was facing the window with his back turned to me...
...but, when he swung his chair around, I saw that he had tears streaming down his face.
Startled and uncertain of what to say, I waited for him to speak…
…I’ll never forget the look on his face and the light in his eyes as he said…
…”my name is Guillermo; I have reclaimed my identity!”
Then he told me the story that he’d never shared because he was embarassed.
After settling in Canada and starting to search for a job…
…Guillermo found that people had difficult pronouncing his name...
...so he became Lenny…
…even though it never seemed right…
…even though he felt like he’d lost his identify.
He did what he thought he had to do to take care of his family…
…he sacrificed his most precious possession – his name.
I’ve used this book in my coaching practice for decades…
..and reading this particular chapter was Lenny’s homework…
…resulting in what was to me, a magical chain of events.
The department celebrated the day Guillermo changed the name on his office door.
The leader brought in lunch - they had cake - even balloons.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the room when Guillermo, standing tall, speaking with pride,
…told his story, describing how it made him feel about his life and about himself.
We devised a plan to leverage this name change to help Guillermo secure meetings
with centres of influence throughout the bank.
Fascinated by his story, everyone he met with was warm, friendly and open.
Guillermo’s success continued, guided by his renewed sense of self.
Network Marketing is all about building and sustaining relationships…
…and I hope you see the importance of using people’s names…
…to make them feel important and have a positive experience of you.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
Learn this an other skills that help people feel good about themselves...
...and watch you and your business soar to the top!
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