What’s more important? Work- BFF or career?

Maslov’s theory of needs states that in order to reach the best version of ourselves we need to have a level of friendship and love in our life, so it is logical that we make friends at work. We spend a lot of time with our colleagues, but I worry that we focus too much on the social side.

I recently read a stylist article that says ‘two-thirds of women find the social element to be one of the most important”, which therefore increases their engagement.

In the work that I do, there is no question that a woman who feels included and safe will be more engaged which should lead to increased productivity, but the caveat is if her work is her priority.

There are a lot of magazines aimed at women that talk about the strength of friends at work, but not about the realities of the cost.

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t have work friends but rather to make sure the view of how important it is to have work friends remains balanced.

What should be a short tea/coffee break is 20 minute debrief about the weekend and what else might be going on in the office. You may think no one notices the frequency but somebody always will and the breaks will be called your lack of commitment or focus even if you state you’re reaching your goals.

What about promotion time? Have you discussed career plans or is it awkward because you don’t want to be left or leave the other person behind, to avoid bad vibes on the team? It can become easy to deprioritise our ambitions, in order to be a good friend.

The corporate system needs a lot of work, but could an overemphasis on friendships be a reason for a lack of progression?

The fallout of not progessing at the speed we wish?causes individual frustration which can start the vicious cycle of being dissatisfied and eventually overlooked. (Read an article on how to recognise the symptoms )

Everyone approaches work friends differently and some of my closest friends are former colleagues but it was always really important to me, that I could demonstrate that I could do my job well and to build respect from my colleagues and then I could consider friendship.

It helped to avoid muddy waters later on and it meant that some of those friends could give me constructive criticism (it didn’t matter if I liked it), without fearing for our friendship as we had built colleague respect first.

I’ve always found it’s easier to become friends with someone who is good at their job than not, as somewhere along the lines it becomes difficult to give them the feedback the problem might be them.

Work friends are important and I could never live without them, but it is a tricky balance to navigate.

#workbff

#genderequity

Leanne Mair is the Founder and CEO of?Benefactum Consulting , a consultancy focussed on accelerating gender equity in the workplace, the Founder of?Black Women Parlay , an invitation-only network for future-forward Black women and the Founder of?The Sororum, ?a social enterprise dedicated to supporting first-generation female professionals moving into the workplace.

Leanne was named a LinkedIn Top Voice for Gender Equity 2023 and continues to shine a light on the topic and will further expand with her upcoming book, to be released in autumn 2023.