What's Mightier?

July 31st, 5 pm.

The garage is still a tornado site, we're sweaty and tired and amped up.

There's still much to do and even amidst the flurry of packing and selling our home we're feeling a sense of calm, of peace, of connectedness.

Last July 31st, we handed the keys over to a friend. The friend (also our beloved Chiropractor) who bought our house now had her first home. It felt incredibly meaningful, in every regard, from all of us - her, her realtor, My Fine Husband and me. Heck, even our kids ???? were good with the sale. And her kids definitely loved the tall sunflowers in the front yard, which they immediately starting running amongst, playing hide and go seek. in their yard, at their new home.

Feeling good about how we chose to sell the house in a private sale, vs. on the open ridiculous untenable market where our friend wouldn't have even been able to play the game (medical school bills anyone?!). Where we could have chosen dollars over sense and human connection, easily garnering tens of thousands more in our bank account. In the market of Southern Oregon where many people are moving to. In a market in which you sell yet there's a big *maybe* of getting an equivalent home. Big Maybe.

Fast forward to now as we're house hunting. I write hunt because that's what it is: stalking, calling (your agent; your patience), searching (thank you Trulia.com), hoping (never a plan in my book), searching again (too much) and the constant circuitous family circle style conversations.

"What if..." is usually a go-to question for me that I teach and also practice. When applied to the housing market, it brings us to the title of this article: What's Mightier?

If you were forced to choose right now, which would you choose:

• Dollars
• Relationships

Be real and honest with yourself here, dear reader.

Just this morning we walked to a house that's now on the open blood thirsty marketplace, before the formal viewing hours are open, thanks to the connecting efforts already invested and the ground work we've laid. My profession of teaching how and why in human connecting is absolutely also how I live my life, in every facet.

I had posted a bright pink sign on a bulletin board, in the development we're currently renting in, asking "Can You Help?". The gentleman of the couple called me, telling me that his wife 'was a sucker' for helping people. YEA!!! No suckerism to that, my friend. That's called empathy and wanting to help.

From his calling me spurred by the sign his wife saw, we've had several conversations - phone, live in the 'hood, and via text. All pleasant, all informative, all human and real and fun. All with the intent to build a genuine new relationship, in our newly adopted hometown of Missoula, Montana. We know his dogs' names, his roots (5th gen Montanan), and more about him that most neighbors know about each other in living next door for years.

He shared kindly and freely, I did the same, always asking a few more questions to find out about them and how we could support them and their move. We learned quite a bit about each other in the space of a few weeks. We've thanked him repeatedly for being willing and open.

Now, the house is officially on the market. We went and saw it early, just this morning; our realtor knows their realtor. Cool. Hopefully helpfully so.

And now that we've seen the house, now with allllll the effort and realness of starting a new relationship - a new connection - here we are: in the queue. Just another offer. Not people. Relationship likely not factored in. Dollars first, people second.

Sure, he tells me he'll watch for our names and I believe he's in earnest. And to be clear, I'm not judging him; I'm calling on all of us to rethink what we're doing in pursuit of life first, dollars second. In that order.

He's telling us they want the best offer, that we can put in a "competitive bid", that they'll watch for our names.

So, then what.

And so what?

My Fine Husband and I keep circling around, the conversation is the tiger in the room stalking both of us, daring us to choose, to jump, to make a decision - or stay in fear of approaching, of taking action.

Connecting with another person is elemental to our beings. It's elemental to our emotions, our actions, our thinking, our reactions. It's the bedrock with what builds and when it's missing - when the wrong "mighty" is put forward ahead of human connection - we destroy connection, we intentionally neglect what we all deeply crave: to feel accepted, respected and to know a true feeling of belonging. And we are all fully responsible for fostering connection. Every. Single. Damn. One. Of. Us.

So, what'd you reply - what's mightier: Dollars or Relationships?

There will always be more dollars. Always.

There will never be duplicity of relationships, with people who are singular by nature.

My Fine Husband and I feel great about having sold our home to someone who long wanted to buy a first home. To help her realize that part of her dream is truly humbling. It's deeply satisfying to know that her address was once the one we called our own, that her and her boys and her friends will now breathe the life into it out of love and fun and all the parts of life.

My Fine Husband and I are now on the hunt. The tiger is on the prowl.

While we knew it'd be a potentially crazy market, it's one that has exceeded our imaginings with hyper competitive, super high over-offer offers that stretch budgets to the breaking point. One that's untenable and is sure to break at some moment, leaving a lot of people again in over their heads. It's sure to leave a lot of people capable of reasonable mortgages in the lurch, in perpetual rental-dom at the sacrifice of investing in what is possible. It's going to be another huge disconnect in an already discordant world. And it's totally in our control to change what the market is by who we are and the choices we make.

This isn't bragging. We chose to sell how we did, and are glad for it. We'll work our way forward, keeping the eye on the relationships and possibilities and optimism.

The relationship is the point here. There will be other houses. There will be new opportunities. We simply get to make different choices and continue the pursuit. Stay steady to our purpose and still keep focused on connecting.

What this is, is a wake up call to remember why we choose the choices we do.

• Where are they coming from?
• What roots them?
• Most critically: Who do we want to be in making them?

Will we be hunting for dollars or relationships? Which one will outlast the other in every way? Which one is mightier for you?

Tell me what you'd choose. I'm curious to know what you think.

And now I must go. The hunting horn beckons, again.

Ready to learn how human connection drives our lives? Visit https://gingerjohnson.com/ to learn more. If you're leading a team, planning a conference, hosting a board retreat and want to seriously uplevel the energy and long-lasting impact for your efforts, call Ginger today.

Because Life is Powered By Connection. World HQ 515 450 7757