What's Love Got To Do With It?

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

I’ve been struck down with a bit of doubt this week. A kaleidoscope of events has merged to put the focus back on me and a need for self-reflection, thrown me off course - disorientated.

A few weeks ago, a ran a Women Mean Business event. A Friday night in November, a beautiful venue, and a room full of female founders looking for some assistance with their heart led businesses and a workshop facilitated and prepared by me. I had thought of and invested in this evening because I also have a purpose driven business and I ALSO need assistance, so I knew the need was there.

The evening, I thought, was a success. The room was full, and the women were engaged. More questions were raised after the event and friendships were made. This is what business means to me. Collaboration and creativity. The atmosphere was great, warmer once the heating had been put on properly.

I had asked for feedback so I could follow up and build my network and I had asked for the women to rate the evening from 1-9. What I received back was also great. One woman added a 10, although I know there is always room for improvement. Stay humble! I was pleased as I have quite high expectations for my work. All work.

But what was interesting to me was that out of 24 women, all of them gave me a 9 or above – Thank you Farah -10! the one piece of feedback I mithered about was the 7. The only 7. Now 7 is a good number. It is the date of my birthday. Chinese culture reckon it is a lucky number. According to a google search, the number 7 has associations with creativity and intuition! So, why did I concentrate on the relatively “low and negative by comparison” number 7?

This I talked about with my sister – wondering what on earth is wrong with me that I think a 7 is BAD!! We concluded that it is because I care. A lot. About being able to provide an excellent service and correct information and do it in the correct way. The 7 was confirmation of a long-held belief that I need to work harder. Try harder. If I look for things, I will find them. Of all the women shouting ” you are doing well”, I choose to listen to the whisper that says “NOT WELL ENOUGH!” Society puts this on us. Families, Schools, and workplaces until the narrative in your head does it for yourself. I thought I had now at 52 enough self-belief to say f..k it! Thought I had the courage to be disliked? Seems not!

Marketing a new business is hard work. If you have been in the woods for 10 years, had small children and retrained into a sector you initially knew nothing about, bootstrapping and working part time. It is harder. I am marketing to extend my reach, to get more clients, to concentrate on niching the problem not the ideal client. The problem is the financial advice gap and inequality of wealth and wellbeing; 12 million people need financial advice, and the current Financial Advisor and Financial Institution system does not cater for them. Relationships and families break down and businesses fold because people don’t get the financial education they need. The Financial Sector is confusing and scary. I know I have solutions to all these problems. I AM Niching up; the need is great.

I am working on LinkedIn and with Canva, a bit on Instagram and some Facebook. I am learning how to Tik Tok and YouTube. Luckily, I love to learn, but I AM making mistakes, quite a few in fact. Normally, I am happy making mistakes, one step forward and two steps back, but I get the shits about GDPR and data protection. Always have and always will. So, I haven’t cold called or email shot. Until this week and the shot backfired. Once again, I am looking for the confirmation that my fears are real and I am getting it. The complicated legal systems that look after us are difficult to navigate, they keep us looking for creative ways to grow reach but they sometimes keep us stuck, I am a deer in the headlights. The first and last newsletter. Email list edited!

Now with two reasons to self-flagellate,?I start to question my business aims and my purpose. Maybe no one does want to move from money anxiety to financial freedom, maybe those 12 million people are happy in their lack of financial literacy. Maybe, just like the Blackberry phone, I am obsolete. Already!?Shall I quit when I have just begun?

Time to regroup and a trip to Bath to see my lovely, kind, university friend. A gentle cheerleader who has seen me post-partum and pre divorce, at my worst and warts and all. And still, she loves me! Lucky me, the jackpot.

While there, we saw Bath at night in all its pre-Christmas, twinkly beauty. We visited a beautiful bookshop Topping and Company of Bath, (a place of worship for me). Topping & Company Booksellers of Bath, Edinburgh, Ely, and St Andrews (toppingbooks.co.uk), ate a delicious home cooked Ottolenghi dinner and spent 20 minutes on the dancefloor showcasing our Mum moves to Madonna’s Borderline, Deacon Blue’s Real gone kid and other classics in an 80’s themed disco. I felt better. Loved, cared for and understood.

While I was there, I did notice something. My friend whilst preparing our Saturday night feast used a battery powered pepper grinder. 4AA batteries and it seemed not to work! Then that got me thinking. If people are buying all sorts of expensive things they don’t need and sometimes don’t work, then WHY am I doubting myself when I have knowledge and understanding in something that people do (really) need and that something enables them to buy those things, guilt free? so that they can sleep at night, so that they can live their best adventurous and generous life? That not many people do what I do is not a barrier to success, or a bad thing. In fact, it should be a guarantee of success, a good thing. Everything that has gone before isn’t fit for purpose today. One size does not fit all. Look at what 99% of people are doing and do the opposite! I am. Mostly.

Having someone who coaches personal finance both Money IQ and Money EQ should be the first person you book an appointment with if you are struggling with anything. After that call the nutritionist, the brand photographer, the social media specialist, the dating coach, the divorce lawyer, the website builder, because after your appointment with me, you have the mindset, the money, a financial road map, and the motivation to succeed.

And that takes me back to the number 7 in a roundabout way. I have pulled up my socks, silenced my inner and outer critics and have started a Business Accountability Group (BAG). Launched last Friday to the attendees of the Event in November, I have recruited 6 women (7 including myself), to meet once a week for 12 weeks. Watch us while support each other, playing to our own strengths, to provide a safe space full of love and understanding enabling us to thrive in our heart led, purpose driven but very different businesses. Let 2024 be the year of the BAG women.

And so, what HAS love got to do with it? It’s got everything to do with it and the first place to start is ourselves. Self-love, acceptance, compassion, and esteem. Warts and All. Debts, doubts, mistakes, and all. Let me use my skills and knowledge to help.

Julia Shepherd is Director of I Depend on Me ltd. Financial Education, Coaching and Mentoring and now a BAG woman. Niching on the problem not the person.

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