What's in a label?

One of the unexpected bonuses of having a podcast is that it gives you a great excuse to talk to some amazing people about their life experiences. One things that has come up again and again is the labels we, or others give us.

Labelling it seems can be a bit of a controversial topic. We (generally) don’t like it when we feel labeled by others as something we’re not, yet we frequently do it to ourselves sometimes very consciously with pride, sometimes subconsciously.

I don’t think it’s possible to not label ourselves, our language forces us to label ourselves when we talk about characteristics we are experiencing. For example when we label ourselves by saying that we’re hot, cold, hungry, tired, annoyed, excited etc. which like tier not is in effect a form of labelling.

In German you’re more likely to say Ich habe Hunger (I have hunger) and Ich habe Durst (I have thirst) , than Ich bin hungrig (I am hungry), ich bin durstig (I am thirsty).? Although you probably would still say Ich bin müde just as you’d say I am tired in English.

So though our language we’ve created a situation whereby we identify with the state that we’re in. We actually say that we are that thing, rather than suffering from its effects, which is a form of labelling, right?

So what are the consequences, is it good or bad?

Well, that depends.

I’m quite surprised by the number of sensitive people I’ve spoken to who have remarked that they didn’t realise that they were HSP (highly sensitive people) until they read a book on being HSP, often with someone else in mind, and realised that it was talking about them! In these cases they typically expressed this revelation as being validating and reassuring. They realised that what they were experiencing was known, it wasn’t just them that felt that way, and they weren’t going crazy!

For these people adopting a label, identifying with this label gave them the permission to fully accept and embrace who they were, and sometimes even drop old labels which were forced on them. They realised that they weren’t just shy, antisocial, timed, weak, or even lazy, they were actually highly intuitive highly ,processing, gifted people who because of all the information they were taking in (information that other non HSPs aren’t aware of and therefore aren’t having to process) they were exhausting themselves, hence the need for more rest and alone time.

In this sense when it leads to understanding, validation and empowerment; I’m fully in support of labelling.

So, what about the negative consequences? Where labelling is actually causing limitations. There are certainly numerous situations, it doesn’t take much imagination to see where others label us as being unsuited or incapable due to our age, race, gender etc.

But there’s also another form of labelling that I’ve noticed which is worse in some ways, because it’s so subtle and self defeating; and that’s the self labelling which we’ve all probably used as a reason, or excuse for not doing something.

Don’t believe me?

If you ever catch yourself saying ‘I couldn’t possibly…’ there’s a chance you’re using excuses to keep yourself within your comfort zone. This is where identifying so strongly with a label causes us to believe that we can’t exist in any other form. We can’t speak up in meetings because we’re a non-native and our language skills aren’r good enough, we can’t make small talk because we’re an introvert, we can’t attend let alone present at a conference because we’re HSP.

The reason I say this is worse, is because these people don’t even see that they have another option, they don’t even consider asking for help, they just give up, often with resentment that others can speak better English, can socialise, can attend conferences… because they have the skills, they’re extroverts… their life is easy.

It’s not only the attitude that’s wrong here, it’s the resentment that it causes. I want that thing they ‘they’ are able to do so easily, but I can’t have it because I’m an introvert, I’m HSP, I have stage fright, I have social anxiety, I…

I don’t want to come across as unsympathetic here, I get it I really do. Social anxiety, introversion, HSP are all huge challenges to have to deal with I just find it such a waste when people’s talent is wasted because they don’t believe there is a way for them to

I also have fears, I’ve also said these things. But, what I see now is that actually, I can do most of the things I want to.. It will probably take me more effort and I might need to approach it differently, I might not be able to sustain that way of being, or be in that environment for as long,? but I CAN do it.

I’m Louise and I help non-native introverts gain the confidence to speak up in English at work without getting overwhelmed so that they can start getting the recognition they deserve and desire.

My coaching addresses the real reasons you aren’t comfortable being visible at work, and helps create effective solutions to prevent you getting lost for words when speaking up in stressful situations at work… without having to learn more vocabulary or speak perfect English.

Sound interesting? DM me to find out more about how I can help you.