What's Keeping You From Seeing Clearly-hint (it's resistance!)

It was a?lightbulb?moment.?A?pure flash?of recognition.

It was?shocking and harsh,?but also somehow?pleasant.?

I was driving to see my mom who lives in rural?northern California and I had just pulled onto the curvy?two-lane country road that leads to her house.

But as I steered through the first curve, I realized I was behind 4 cars who were driving?REALLY?slow.

A?regular occurrence on this stretch of highway are tourists who drive super slow and almost never pull over to let traffic go by.?

It's seriously annoying and even at times?maddening!

Embarrasingly,?my go-to behavior is usually to tailgate, turn on my high beams, and get ready to pass on one of the few straightaways.?

Not exactly the most relaxing experience, working myself into a frenzy of?disdain and anger.

But a few years ago, I decided I was fed up with my own behavior.?

So I started trying to?send love?to the drivers in front of me.?

It could have been my own confirmation bias but it?SEEMED?like those annoying tourists would pull over a little more often when I did that.

But it's hard to keep sending love when there are huge pullouts and signs that say?SLOW DRIVERS PLEASE PULL OVER TO LET OTHERS PASS?and people still don't do it.

When I pulled onto the road to find myself behind 4 slow cars, my annoyance?shifted into high gear.

That's when it hit me.?

I was the one who was?CREATING?the annoyance.

I could feel the resistance inside myself to the situation at hand?AND?I could clearly see that I was adding fuel to the fire.

There was the resistance to what was, then there were all the stories that I piled on top that?amplified the feeling?until I felt like a?RAGING?maniac.

"These people are jerks!"

"How can they not pull over when there are ten cars behind them and huge pullouts?"

"WTF, I would never do that!"

You get the idea.

The feelings and stories collapsed like an imploding building?until I was sitting there with a little ball of energy just below my solar plexus, which was?RESISTANCE.

It wasn't that big a deal, just a?small?sensation in my body.?

I started laughing like a hyena!

And the crazy part??

All those drivers pulled over for me.??

And every slow driver on the entire ride pulled over for me.?

My confirmation bias was in full effect...lol.

Instead of arriving at mom's house annoyed, angry and frustrated, I showed up feeling?full of energy and happy.

This?whole soliloquy is my way of asking you?WHAT ARE YOU RESISTING?and?HOW ARE YOU MAKING IT WORSE?than it is?

It reminds me of a favorite quote from one of my mentors,?"What you resist, persists."?

Because when you start to get down to the?ACTUAL?physical sensation instead of the stories?ABOUT?whatever it is you're bothered with, you can actually deal with whatever it is that's in front of you objectively.

But if you wrap yourself in knots, blaming others, the world outside or even yourself, you'll be wasting?TONS of energy?instead of?finding great solutions to your "problems."

If you'd like to try it out for yourself, I suggest adopting a mindset of?taking 100% percent responsibility for your current experience.?

Once you've decided to take responsibility you should feel a bit freer in accessing the emotions you are experiencing.

Let's say you've identified the emotion of anger, then you'll want to notice where and how this feels IN your body.

Anger for me can feel like heat, tightness and swelling above the heart area.

It could be similar for you or very different.

What matters is that you are able to identify the SENSATION.

Once you can feel the emotion and the sensation you can begin to decide.

Whatever you feel,?decide that you have control?over how you respond.

I like to ask the question, "How would I like to feel?"

If you'd like to feel calmer, or happier or anything else see if you can nudge yourself in that direction by 5 or 10 percent.

Once you experience what this feels like amount of emotional control you have will increase substantially.

Instead of being blinded by your emotions, you'll see what lies underneath, and your capacity for insight and clear seeing will grow by leaps and bounds.

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Jonah Larkin M.S. L.Ac., is an executive coach, as well as a communication and health expert. He facilitates MBA students at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and coaches men to be live every day as if it's their last to create more impact, meaning and satisfaction in their lives.