What’s Holding You Back?

Have you ever felt torn between two parts of yourself—one eager to move forward and another holding you back? It’s a frustrating experience, like driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. This inner tug-of-war, known as internal conflict, can leave you stuck, sapping your motivation and hindering your growth. But what if you could resolve this conflict quickly and easily, allowing all parts of you to work together in harmony?

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Internal conflict happens when two parts of you are at odds. For example, one part of you might want to start a new project, but another part resists, worried about failure or discomfort. This isn’t just procrastination—it’s a deeper disconnect, often rooted in past experiences or childhood traumas. Over time, these opposing parts rarely communicate, leaving you feeling stuck and unable to move forward.

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When your internal parts are misaligned, progress feels impossible. The part of you that wants to achieve something can get overpowered by the part that fears change, often because it’s trying to protect you from perceived risks. This creates a cycle of inaction, where energy is wasted on inner resistance rather than pursuing your goals.

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Resolving internal conflict is simpler than you might think. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers a powerful technique called Parts Integration, designed to help your conflicting parts communicate, align, and work together.

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Start by identifying the two conflicting parts and give them names, like "The Achiever" and "The Protector." This makes it easier to relate to them during the process.

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Set up three chairs in a triangle—one for you and one for each part. Sit in the chair representing the part that’s resistant and become that part fully. Ask:

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Keep digging deeper by asking, “What’s important about that?” until you uncover the core value, often something fundamental like love, safety, or security.

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If you’re open to it, recall a moment when you felt "Infinite Love" or a profound sense of safety and wholeness. Use that experience to reframe the part’s role. For example, a part focused on “protection” might evolve into one offering “clarity” or “courage.”

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Now, switch to the part that wants to move forward and repeat the process. Discover its values and help it align with the newly transformed perspective.

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Once both parts have been heard and understood, allow them to communicate. Often, this naturally results in cooperation, as each part realizes its role in supporting the whole person.

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Finally, bring the parts together symbolically by extending your hands (representing each part) and drawing them to your chest. Take a moment to feel the unity and harmony between these once-conflicted parts.

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This process is surprisingly quick—most people can resolve internal conflict in a single session lasting an hour.

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The transformation can be profound. You’ll experience:

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Now, imagine what could happen if every part of you was working together toward the same goal.

How much more could you accomplish if your energy wasn’t divided?

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