What's the Fuss about Communication?

Ever felt frustrated waiting for a response and wondered why you haven't heard back? Should you follow up? Should you let the person respond when they are ready? Should you assume that they are not interested? Did you say something wrong?

As a new business owner and entrepreneur, I have had these questions swish around and around in my head (especially when I'm tired and grumpy!). I completely understand the world of cold contacts, for every 100 contacts you can expect one potential lead. As a recipient of such cold contacts, I get it. I don't always respond. If it manages to catch my attention then perhaps I will glance at it fleetingly and soon be distracted by the next email. Or when in the office and contacted via the phone, I'd tell the admin staff to tell them I'm busy and can't come to the phone. (How many of us have done that?!) But that's the sales game, you cast your net wide and hope that one will bite. The sender and recipient know this dance.

I am absolutely rubbish at sales. The one time I had to make sales calls to make up numbers when working at a call centre (bums on seats it was called!), I must have come across like I was begging, pleading because the customer said, "I'm only buying this because of you". That should tell you enough!

As a new entrepreneur, to build networks I have contacted people I know or have had some sort of connection with. A warm contact is better, isn't it? If I received a warm contact, I would at least acknowledge the contact even if I couldn't do anything to help. If not anything else, I would at least acknowledge out of courtesy.

When you don't get an answer is it because the recipient cannot be bothered? Are they too busy? Do they find it hard to say no? What is it? Is it easier to ignore than say no?

Maybe it's not the recipient, maybe it's the sender.

I have examined how I communicate, do I come across as over eager or am I too serious? Am I too friendly? Do I have the right tone?

Does digital communication give us the cover to remain detached? Making it OK to not acknowledge the person that sent the email or text? I can't help but relate this to something I recently read about the disassociation of meat with animal origins because of how it's presented on supermarket shelves. Might seem like a dramatic comparison but you see where I am going with this, right? It's easy to deal with things we find unpleasant by disassociating. So electronic communication i.e. emails can be viewed as an interruption especially if it doesn't serve your purpose and isn't your priority.

This article was in draft form when I was discussing this with a friend. She was telling me about the fatigue she felt because of the constant digital communication during these times when our professional lives have invaded personal spaces and boundaries have blurred, especially for those who have been working from home for the last year or so. I get her perspective. It can be overwhelming, it is overwhelming at times. My only suggestion is if you are feeling overwhelmed then take a step back review what works for you now. So here is an overarching rule.

GOLDEN RULE: Assess, Be Clear, Communicate - Communicate what works for you to your family, friends, colleagues and more importantly, your boss! Explain the boundaries you need so that your interactions with the people in your life is meaningful.

Before we become completely disassociated from the person that sends that email/ text, here are some simple things I do to acknowledge my peers, colleagues, friends, family... works both professionally and personally.

Rule 1: Be Conscious - Don't start a conversation you know you are not going to be able to finish. Or if something comes up - be direct, clear and say you got to go! Remember "ttyl" still works a treat. When a professional is unable to respond to an email because they are too busy or overwhelmed, whatever the reason is, no doubt, it's legitimate. It doesn't fill the sender with confidence when they see the recipient respond to other digital communication, like social media, emails sent by other colleagues that the sender is copied into. (You know what I'm talking about, hands up if you've put 2 & 2 together and got 22!)

Rule 2: Be Honest - When you get a warm contact, it's because someone you know or have a connection with is contacting you. You can't help due time, energy whatever it might. A simple response - "Nice to connect with you, I'm busy for the next ... weeks/ months/ years, here's a colleague that might be able to help". Or "Thank you for getting in touch. I'm unable to help you" will suffice. While this may seem brutal, trust me in the long run, the sender will appreciate the honesty.

Rule 3: Be Proactive - If you know you are going to be busy or are working on something that you don't want interrupted then use the out of office email service that all mailing clients offer. That way they know, setting the right expectations from the onset.

In conclusion, simple courtesy and clear communication goes a long way. You come across as authentic and professional in work situations, caring and honest in personal situations. Yes all this has been said many times and I wish there wasn't a need to discuss this. If you feeling like sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the world. I hear you. Just let your tribe know so that when you decide to resurface they will be there for you.

Be Human.