What's Familiar got to do with it?*

Isn't it awe-inspiring how the natural rhythms of the seasons create a cocoon of familiarity! We know how the weather will feel, the wardrobe swaps, daffies bringing all their colour to the yard, and the joy of plotting plans for days outdoors!

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For my readers in tropical timezones, you may be staying put indoors, and out of the heat, with glasses of iced sugarcane juice and slices of watermelon :D

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I've been curious about this theme of?Familiar, brought on by the change of seasons.?

Specifically,?how does the 'familiar' support or hinder progress in the midst of a life event or transition???

Like a layoff, career pivot, relationship breakdown, career comeback after a break, be it maternity, long sabbatical, or even, illness.?

??Do you - understandably - shelter within the cocoon of what feels safe??

??Do you explore if the Familiar has turned to a pattern repeat**, that might send you into auto-pilot mode but not necessarily towards desired change??

??And - how do you even begin to get comfortable with the Foreign,?which carries Stretch, holds Wisdom, and invites you to draw near to new ways of doing old things???

Here's the tea:

??Nothing changes, if nothing changes.?

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??What you focus on, grows.

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In coaching, my clients have been taking insights from these questions, through to actions:?

??What is the essential scaffolding, as it were, to keep one energised, action-oriented, and hope-filled?

??What superfluous/ outdated pattern(s) of survival needs to be pruned?

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??What fear(s) must I now confront to serve this emerging identity???

Following from these coaching conversations, I share my...

5 Building Blocks to Get Comfortable with What Feels Uncomfortable:??

?1. Act on what you know.??

Knowledge and information are tools.?

Acting on the information gives you momentum, generates inside-out motivation, and moves you closer to what you want.?

Side note: Not taking action, is also action.?

2. Break a pattern.??

Are you aware of what your default settings are - in a crisis, in a confrontation, or even in times of utter peace and quiet??

To break a cognitive or behaviour pattern that keeps you stuck or in self sabotage, first get clarity on your patterns.

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3. Do something different.??

The human brain is continually wiring and rewiring.?

Want different results? Do something different. Repeating patterns strengthens neural pathways.?

When you have a desired action - make it consistent, repetitive, values-aligned.?

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4. Set yourself up for success.??

What are the 1-2-3 steps that takes you from intention to behaviour??

What belief do you need to get from 'Uh oh!' to 'I got this'??

What systems do you have in place to get from A to B?

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5. Set up an Implementation Intention.?

Here's a link to my brief blog post on how to practively set up and utilise and If/Then implementation.?

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What else would you add?

This article was a February 2023 edition of my Road to Joy newsletters. If you like what you read, get a joy infusion delivered direct to your inbox twice a month. Sign up for my Road to Joy newsletter here!

*One of my all-time favourite songs! I learned the lyrics when I was 5yo. Been belting it out ever since.

**Pattern repeat, a term from crochet and knitting, is an instruction to repeat specific stitches a set number of times, over a set number of rows, to generate the design.

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Hello! I'm Avril...

Certified Trauma-Informed Leadership Coach to mid-senior level leaders in Tech, who are ready to lead from joy, self trust, and self-compassion.

My coaching approach is rooted in the power of neuroscience, applied positive psychology, and Neuro Linguistic Programming - to create sustainable inside-out change.

DM ?? if you're ready for a powerful coaching conversation or book a chemistry call