What’s the Difference Between Sobriety and Recovery?

It’s possible that some of you might think they are synonymous. And, they may be. For me, there is a difference as described below.

I suffer from the disease of alcoholism. I can not drink in safety. One drink is never enough and when I drink, trouble follows. Near the end of my drinking, I couldn’t stop. I was drinking large quantities every day, banished from the marital home, living alone and hanging on to a job by a thread (as I found out after getting sober). In other words, my life was unmanageable.?

In desperation, I was taken to a meeting Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in the Fall of 1972. In that first meeting, I found hope from the stories of 5 speakers. The friend that brought me to the first meeting, accompanied me to 6 more meetings near where I lived and I was “launched”.?

A month later, I heard a guy speak at a meeting and he really “got inside my head” so I asked him to be my sponsor. The following night, I met him outside his house to drive to a meeting and there I met 4 other guys who were all under 2 years of sobriety. In a matter of a month or so, I had the basic structure of support to get sober: A sponsor and a few fellow alcoholics that I could talk to about my drinking and ‘stinking thinking’.?

For the next few years, I went to a lot of meetings. My personal network expanded. I was benefitting from the miracle of not drinking. I changed jobs, moved into a new apartment and started a social life.?

I was not drinking. I had become a better father, brother, son and friend. I was sober.

When I moved, I found a different sponsor who lived closer to my new location and he introduced me to the idea that my drinking was just a symptom of underlying causes. And that was my first introduction to the concept of shining a light on my past and making an inventory of my fear, doubt, insecurity and misdeeds.?

In order to pursue this, I joined a men’s group that was focused exclusively on studying and discussing the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. As a result of this work, I was introduced to a new vocabulary and a new way of thinking about myself and the kind of person I wanted to be.?

The founders of AA made it clear that in order to achieve long-term sobriety, I needed to work the Steps into my life on a daily basis. I had to change the person I brought into AA. Yes, although I was sober, I was still capable of being fearful, having doubts, having feelings of insecurity. I was still capable of lying and being self-centered.?

In other words, just “not drinking” was not enough. In order to “Recover” from the mental and emotional part of the disease, I needed to do that hard work of understanding the issues and taking steps to change.?

For me, no drinking and trying to do the right thing was not enough. I needed more than sobriety. I needed the Recovery that comes from transforming myself (with the help of my sponsor and the members of my AA group).