What’s the Difference Between Real Pain and Pain Made Up in the Mind?
Pancho Mehrotra
When you absolutely, have to increase sales, open more opportunities, negotiate deals with profit, I can help, contact me. Psychology in Selling. Keynote Speaker. Executive Coach. Sales Trainer.
Ask anyone who has had a limb amputated and they’ll tell you that it took them a long time to let go of the pain.
I recently spoke to my father, who is a retired plastic surgeon about this.
He spoke about the psychological challenges, especially around deleting the memory of a missing limb.
PAIN IS DESIGNED TO PROTECT
He told me that soldiers who lost a leg would often get up in the middle of the night screaming with pain, though the limb was removed years ago. The pain was real in their mind.
So how does this apply in sales?
I’ve often found salespeople have a great deal of pain associated with rejection.
Getting No’s isn’t pleasant but it’s only a word.
So why do we associate pain to rejection?
One of the reasons is because the pain we feel from rejection is closely linked to social rejection and we automatically feel it physically.
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So our brain decides let’s not do the thing that’s going to make us feel this way.
So what do we do?
Our brain is hardwired to avoid any type of pain, so we avoid doing the thing that makes us feel pain. We don’t pick up the phone to get exposed to that pain of hearing NOs.
How do we get over it even though it’s not real?
There’s a process that we use. The first step is to dispute this thought and then you have to reframe the thought by asking yourself what else could that thought mean, which invariably leads to a different thought, ultimately a different behavioral response from the salespeople.
Once you go through this process you can effectively learn to dispute any thought that is not helpful and get on with doing the thing that creates pain.
Make those calls, get rejected along the way & get meetings.
It’s very liberating and the freedom from this is immense.
Let me know does rejection bother you? Do you avoid making calls?
I help high-net-worth individuals optimize insurance solutions, tax planning, and estate management through tailored financial solutions.
6 个月This is such a powerful perspective! The connection between physical pain and the psychological impact of rejection is so real, Pancho.
?? Helping Canadian business owners get grants and financing | Grants & Financing | Growth Marketing
6 个月Thanks for sharing this insightful perspective! It's amazing how our minds can hold onto pain, whether physical or emotional, Pancho.
Performance Master & Speaking Strategist | Turning High-Stakes Presentations into Unforgettable Theatrical Experiences | Founder of The Illuminated Story? Method | illuminatedstory.com
6 个月Great article, Pancho! Your insights into differentiating between real pain and pain created by the mind are really thought-provoking. It’s crucial to understand how our mental state can impact our perception of pain. Thanks for sharing!
Sales, Strategy & Leadership Consultant for Professional Services Firms | Driving Revenue Growth and Profitability | Building High-Performing Teams | Preparing Businesses for Successful Exits | Generating PERSONAL wealth
6 个月Rejection is a part of life - in lots of contexts. Sales is but one. And my take is if you don't ask, you miss out on any chance of getting what you want. So you have to take the risk of rejection - and really, what's the worst that can happen? More important - what's the best?